I've been feeling extremely overwhelmed and depressed because of work lately. A coworker asked if I put in my notice the day after I casually told my boss I was looking for a new job when yet another coworker put in her notice due to the workload and overall treatment. She fubbed up her words and said that the administrator told her I put in my notice. So I asked him if that's what happened(this is my first job) and to my relief he said no, that he was just asking if I had.
Then he asks why I'm leaving. I said that the workload is overbearing and the 8hr day is too much for me, that 15$ an hr for this job is practically an insult(but what I said was I needed more money) and to get him off my back I peppered in that I want to go to school at some point. What does he do? Does he offer to increase my pay? Does he offer to decrease my hours? No, his offer is 'would you work better in the other position?' which is the same level position, just in a different building. I should have said yes, but instead I said no, that I just gotta move on.
Knowing that I'm leaving this job has made me realize how much I hate it. I've been extremely depressed and just unable to function in a basic manner. I've been mucking up my job from not being able to focus and needing to take ten minutes at a time to just sob my eyes out. These people took advantage of me because I was young and then moved me to the hardest position of the department without telling me or consulting me. My boss has a tendency to harass us for calling in sick and she guilt trips us into not taking days off.
Fast forward to yesterday. She comes to the break room about five minutes before clockout and asks how long I've been there. I had just got there, so I tell her that. She doesn't seem to believe me. Now she's also telling me of complaints that people are having(right before I go home. Classy) and that I need to fix it. I say okay and then I ask if I can take a week off(I've worked for two years and only taken float days off, my coworker convinced me to ask for a week) and she says no. She says I can give you two days because the other coworker who doesn't do anything has to go to her father's funeral. Fine. I'm gonna be late to my own, though.
Today I find someone took a day off and I have a panic attack because someone is running late(and I'd be responsible for picking up the slack) and go to the administrator, basically saying I'm struggling. Big mistake.
He tells my boss to talk to me. So I'm sitting here crying about how hard everything is for me and here's a short list of what my boss says:
-I should get help for my mental health
-I have plenty of time to do work and don't need to worry about it
-I should just focus and not worry
-I need to tell her when things happen and when I'm feeling off
-She's been in my position
These are all fair enough. But what REALLY hit me. Is she had the audacity to suggest that part of my stress is coming from job searching. That I should STOP looking for a new job.
I'm actually done. If my mother wasn't holding my hostage and let me quit, I wouldn't even need that PTO money. I'd be gone SO fast.