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Antiwork

Most money I’ve ever made. Best company I’ve worked at in years. Can’t do it anymore.

I’m in my mid 40s and work in sales. For the past year I’ve been working for a pretty niche product/service in Southern California. I like my coworkers, bosses, etc. The job itself is interesting every once in a while. I’ve been knocking on doors and doing sales for over a decade. Getting up and going to customers was always fine and I liked it, until a few months ago. Nothing happened traumatically to me, I just stopped liking it. And every day since then I’ve liked it less and less to the point where I’m nauseous with anxiety every morning and have a feeling of just plain dread until the work day is done. The feeling of pointlessness is overwhelming at this point. I drive an almost ten year old car that I paid off a while ago, I only go on vacation to visit family and stay with…


I’m in my mid 40s and work in sales. For the past year I’ve been working for a pretty niche product/service in Southern California. I like my coworkers, bosses, etc. The job itself is interesting every once in a while.

I’ve been knocking on doors and doing sales for over a decade. Getting up and going to customers was always fine and I liked it, until a few months ago. Nothing happened traumatically to me, I just stopped liking it. And every day since then I’ve liked it less and less to the point where I’m nauseous with anxiety every morning and have a feeling of just plain dread until the work day is done.

The feeling of pointlessness is overwhelming at this point. I drive an almost ten year old car that I paid off a while ago, I only go on vacation to visit family and stay with them, and I’ve saved up about two years of salary living this thrifty lifestyle. And I will never be able to afford my own house.

I’ve never been married and never had kids since I always wanted to be a homeowner and have stability before getting serious. Now that I’m almost 45, it wouldn’t be right to have children and be a senior citizen at their high school graduation. I can’t even get a dog due to my hours and renting a tiny apartment for $2k a month.

What’s the point to go on knocking myself out anymore and doing something I hate? I’ll never be rich….I doubt I’ll ever be really able to retire unless I physically or mentally can’t work anymore.

I feel bad for people younger than I am that are racked with debt, have jobs now that barely pay and are treated like numbers and have even less hope than I do.

For anyone younger than I am reading this, please find something to do that you you love or at least enjoy. Find a way to work for yourself.

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