I’m in my mid 40s and work in sales. For the past year I’ve been working for a pretty niche product/service in Southern California. I like my coworkers, bosses, etc. The job itself is interesting every once in a while.
I’ve been knocking on doors and doing sales for over a decade. Getting up and going to customers was always fine and I liked it, until a few months ago. Nothing happened traumatically to me, I just stopped liking it. And every day since then I’ve liked it less and less to the point where I’m nauseous with anxiety every morning and have a feeling of just plain dread until the work day is done.
The feeling of pointlessness is overwhelming at this point. I drive an almost ten year old car that I paid off a while ago, I only go on vacation to visit family and stay with them, and I’ve saved up about two years of salary living this thrifty lifestyle. And I will never be able to afford my own house.
I’ve never been married and never had kids since I always wanted to be a homeowner and have stability before getting serious. Now that I’m almost 45, it wouldn’t be right to have children and be a senior citizen at their high school graduation. I can’t even get a dog due to my hours and renting a tiny apartment for $2k a month.
What’s the point to go on knocking myself out anymore and doing something I hate? I’ll never be rich….I doubt I’ll ever be really able to retire unless I physically or mentally can’t work anymore.
I feel bad for people younger than I am that are racked with debt, have jobs now that barely pay and are treated like numbers and have even less hope than I do.
For anyone younger than I am reading this, please find something to do that you you love or at least enjoy. Find a way to work for yourself.