Things my coworker does:
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Dismisses everything I say.
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Dictates my emails – word usage, grammar, punctuation, spelling. Even dictates how I make the edits, “You don’t have to delete all of that, just go back.”
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Doesn’t understand when I mention that the email is coming from me with my name attached so I should have a say in how it is phrased.
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Tells me nearly every single grammatical and spelling error I make nearly immediately after I make it as if I should have already corrected it. I typically finish my thought and then go back and fix the errors or re-word what I’ve written. If I do make a mistake I feel like corrected immediately I will typically backspace and delete a few words to fix the error and then re-type the few words I had written. This may not be the most efficient way to type but I feel like it shouldn’t matter so long as the finished product done well.
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Does not give clear instructions but believes he does and get’s frustrated when I tell him I don’t understand what he’s asking for. He will get obviously frustrated easily in cases like this.
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Will not admit when he’s wrong until it’s been proven to him.
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His way or the highway.
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Calls me multiple times per day for extended periods of time (avg. 30+ minutes each time) and will reiterate the same work topics.This does not allow me to finish work I am current doing. He'll also go off on tangents about the same TV shows or movies day after day.
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In meetings he will talk for me instead of letting me talk.
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Does not respect when I ask him not to do something.
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Condescending & patronizing.
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Will become obviously frustrated when things don’t go his way.
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Will want to perform simple tasks together – like sending emails, meeting invites, etc. – instead of doing them himself. I assume because he doesn’t trust me to send them on my own. I don’t understand why I can’t do these tasks independently, or why – if he has a specific way he wants it done – he can’t do it himself.
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Nothing I put together is good enough. Everything is rewritten or reworked.
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Complains but does not do anything in an attempt to better the situation. Will ask for my thoughts on said situation. Will scoff at all my ideas and tell me why it won’t work. And then he ask me for more thoughts. And then get’s frustrated when I become quiet or tell him that I have nothing left to add to the conversation because it seems like he has his mind made up.
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Has a persecution complex and thinks everyone is out to get him. If I suggest that’s not likely the case, he will become defensive and essentially tell me that I must agree with the people are out to get him. Similarly, he thinks everything everyone does has a motive behind it, even if it's something nice.
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Tells me how to do something and forgets how he told me to do it. When I do it that way the next time he will tell me it's wrong. When I remind him that this is how he told me to do it he denies it.
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Has attempted to shift blame for his fuck ups on me despite me calling him and warning him about the fuck up a week before it came to light. He told me that I, “didn't make it sound urgent enough.”
It's a weird situation where he is not my supervisor but I am his assistant. And it's only him and me on the project so if I do complain to my supervisor he will know exactly who complained.
I've told him politely yet firmly that his behavior is not okay. He became defensive but admitted he ask control issues.
A week later it started again and I very firmly told him it needs to stop.
And now it's starting again.
I told my former supervisor (my supervisor recently changed – but my old supervisor is still in the same position) but I asked him not to say anything because I didn't want this coworker to make things worse. Basically I just wanted my supervisor to know what was going on in case he tried to throw me under the bus. My former supervisor just sympathized and said that he knows this person is a little strange.
My new supervisor isn't as diplomatic and will go straight to this coworker to discuss it so I'm hesitant to say anything.
Beyond work topics, he is easy enough to get along with. He'll always go on about the same couple movies or TV shows but we share some mutual interests so it's not all bad. He also is pretty easy going about work/life balance.
A side story from a few days ago: We were drafting an email together (as well always do – kill me) and a sentence that started with, “I've attached…,” came up. Immediately he stopped me and says, “Delete, “'ve.” It should just be, “I attached…” I suggested that, “I've attached…,” sounded better. He immediately shot me down and lectured me about the use of “passive” words.