I recently was forced to transfer locations at work by corporate after i made them aware of the dozens of fake numbers texting me terrible things about myself while at work. The messages involved a work project (I’m a illustrator/designer and create artwork) and specific male coworker names nobody outside of work knows. The messages told me to k*ll myself, that I was a worthless whore, that I think I’m so talented but I’m not, that it’s so fun to make the shy girl all all scared and nervous, that nobody wants me around, etc. paragraphs upon paragraphs, ones accusing me of getting plastic surgery. I blocked and blocked and they just kept making new numbers.
I’m 22, the youngest woman at my brand by 15 years minimum. At the beginning, I was immediately greeted with standoffishness and constant comments by the other women at work. But eventually I began to grow on them, until men started hitting on me at work. Literally hovering by my desk, asking me to go to lunch, assigning me projects that would require I work with them. I’ve experienced male attention before, but nothing like I have since joining the work world. It’s like I can’t get escape. I will think I’m safe because a man is married, and suddenly he makes a comment like “you pornably workout right? Or you’re just blessed I assume” and purposely look down at me.
Now I have my female superiors telling me to button up mt shirt— which is always fully buttoned (I don’t even have a chest anyway). Whenever a male coworker is speaking to me for too long and I look up, I notice a group of women glaring. Every single time. I felt so trapped there, and traumatized. All I wanted was female friends. After a particularly bad day I nearly broke down crying. I went back to my desk with I’m sure what was a lost expression and one the lead guys at our company, who is extremely attractive and charismatic (so well crushed on at the office) asked if I want to come talk. He brought me to a stairway and hugged me and said he’s sorry and they’re “jealous because I’m smart and accomplished.” When I told him I just moved to the city and have no friends or family here he couldn’t stop smiling and asked for my number and hugged me.
He is eleven years older than me and the only guy at work I would’ve said yes to. And please explain to me why I liked him so much, he wasn’t my usual type at all, but it was like I was enamored.
We went on a date that night and it went really well. We did not have sex but after dinner ended up falling asleep on the sofa while watching a movie. He didn’t try anything and actually made sure to clarify he didn’t want to rush things. I liked him so much, but the week following he was extremely jealous and possessive. He said things like “I don’t know if can come to terms with the fact that you get so much male attention, it’s honestly stressful” all we did is fight and argue, and eventually he ended it after I received flowers from my female cousin (for her upcoming wedding, a invitation gift) and he saw them. He also has been told by other women at work that I love male attention.
He is a good person, and didn’t repeat anything. But uforrunateky, a female superior on his team saw us eating together at dinner.
After it was discovered I went on a date and was romantically involved with him, it wasn’t just my female coworkers who were mean to me, but my superiors. And because they were in charge of me, my life became a living hell. They rolled their eyes at me, looked at me with disgust, criticized my paintings, I would show them the annoymous texts I was getting and they’d not even answer or acknowledge me. They all tried to move my desk to a different floor so I wouldn’t be near this man. I don’t understand why they think I wanted his attention, when we were over I didn’t even think of him. Why would any woman think I want so much male attention?
It makes me feel disgusting. I was standing at the door to HR, watching the texts come in, and down the hallway I could hear a group of my female managers laughing and talking about how I brought in a little state of my dog for my desk. They were saying how mentally ill I was. It made me flash back to the texts “have you taken your meds yet you quiet shy delusional sick fucking bitch?” It broke my heart. I have never had a female in my family who has worked, they all just get married. Im from a wealthy background, but I wanted to do something for myself too. I wanted a female mentor so bad, but the women i admired so much intentionally tried to sabotage my career.