I 24F am on my second full-time job out of college and have been miserable at both. I will say my current job is less miserable than my last one, but it still drives me crazy. The office politics are insane, people are passive aggressive, conniving assholes, every tiny mistake I make has to be an entire intervention, and I am literally drowning in work. I have only been here for 7 months now. I know others I work with are going through the same thing, but no one complains or voices their concerns because it's considered a strike against your performance if you can't keep up. The environment is very cut-throat and management is not afraid to fire anyone.
I have an anxiety disorder, so this intense, high-stress environment has been wearing me down and I've been feeling really depressed. So I decided that after this year is over, I'm going to quit. I will be trying to find a different career path in the meantime, trying to find something that will make me less anxious, even if that means taking a pay-cut.
I was so proud of myself when I got this job, and so was my family, since it's good pay, benefits and perks. My year-end bonus will likely be around $20k – I have never seen that type of money deposited into my bank account before. So am I making a terrible mistake giving this up? If I stay, I would be set to live a very nice lifestyle and build great retirement savings.
And look, normally my first response to anyone else asking this would be “happiness is more important than money, find something else!” But here's my issue: I think I hate working in general. I can't be certain, but I think I will just hate every job. I still have no idea what career / industry to go into next, since most things don't sound pleasant at all. I love the idea of doing what I love, but I have no idea if I love anything.
So yeah, I'm terrified that I'll go somewhere else only to be just as miserable, and with less money. Do I just accept that all work is horrible, and keep the job that will pay me enough to afford vacations in between my depressive episodes? Or do I continue to try and find a job that won't make me have a break down every week? This is the most frustrating issue in the world – I don't want to just learn to live with hating work. But that may be the only option.