She died Saturday and I found out Sunday night while I was out at dinner.
I grew up in an abusive environment where my mom isolated me from most of my family and my grandmother mostly took care of me when my mom left me alone.
My grandmother died when I was 12 and her mother (my Nana) has looked after me and checked in on me up until I turned 16 and my mom kicked me out. I promptly moved in with my dad but his girlfriend kicked me out about a year later when they fought, then I lived with a friend for about half a year. I visited my Nana once in this period of time and told her I'd spend Christmas with her, but work (old job) came up asking on short notice if I could do inventory and I needed the Holiday bonus money.
I have since moved states to put miles between my mom and I because she continually harasses me online and because of that, I lost connection with my Nana. My mom messaged me to tell me she'd passed.
I've been no contact with my mom for something like a year now so this puts me in a weird, compromising position because now I feel obligated to speak to her over my G Grandma's death. I have relatives reaching out asking how I'm doing and I feel guilty because of my last conversation with my G Grandma.
I came to work yesterday and told my manager that I didn't want to be in, and why. And that I had only come in because I know the workload is very strained. He said “Bless you. Thank you for coming in”. And then proceeded to poke and pry about whether or not I knew of a date for any funeral/memorial or service and how he “hopes it ends up being on the weekend” so that it doesn't affect work.
There is only 3 of us 6am-3pm Monday-Friday. I work in an office café and our cook handles the grill and the hotline and my manager handles paperwork and deli. I do everything inbetween including but not limited to the salad bar prep, constant pots of coffee, register, clean tables, disinfect everything, restock sauces, napkins, soup cups, chips, drink fridges, replace milk and creamer, make snack cups, and pick up slack wherever there is any. Whenever I feel done my manager tells me “there are always things to do!” and has me wipe down and clean the coffee machines and soak the coffee baskets and wipe down the fridges/restock snacks at the register or help him with catering & whatever he can think of, which sometimes includes discussing potential new hires as well. & some of the ppl I make coffee for are interns making the bare minimum of the company which is apparently $21 – but we are contracted so I make $15 and the cook who has been here for 10 yrs made $14.25 up until 9 months ago where they started giving him $16.
My breaks are “enforced” (clocking out) but not working during them is not. I frequently have to leave my “break” (chair in the cafe I already…work in, where I am frequently interrupted by customers for help) in order to help people or make more coffee.
I am heavily discouraged from calling out on Tues-Thurs because those are our really busy days and I am expected to be here. I start college soon too and my therapist is expressing serious concerns about the time I pour into my
job. I've mentioned needing days before, one day I've even given him months advice notice and he asked if I “really needed to be out that day?” and has told me that I have to schedule things (like doctor's appointments) so that they “don't interfere with you working the lunch rush”)
I can hardly afford food at this point and I have multiple care professionals as well as my boyfriend expressing concern about how little I am eating and sleeping. I also have no reliable transportation and take the spotty city buses everywhere and my work hours are also going to affect my school schedule. I have no one to take me shopping or to help and my manager takes up a weird attitude over the idea of helping me get anywhere even if we are going the same direction. His reasoning is if he “gives an inch, I'll keep asking for rides and inconveniencing him.” even though I've never formally asked him for help and the conversation was unprompted.
I'm unsure what to do next because I still have to pay my rent and afford the bus and food and I enjoy this job more than anywhere I've worked but it's wearing me down to the point where I struggle to keep my temper around customers bothering me for coffee on my break and have begun crying in the stock room, freezer, drink storage, and in the café & have had to excuse myself to hyperventilate in the bathroom or above listed location.
tl;dr broke sad 18y/o with no financial safety net starting college, working full time for a boss that's “never taken a day off and no one else should either”, can't afford food and now grieving too.