I had a bit of a thought this afternoon.
A couple of weeks ago I was let go at my position for a large heavy vehicle manufacturing facility. I was doing the work of about three people while overseeing the entire picking schedule for one of the six assembly lines. Bear in mind that I was employed not as a supervisor but as part of the crew, so I was already doing more than I was supposed to be, but it needed to be done.
Due to needing to also pick, deliver, organise, liaise with the production crew about mistakes made and then rectify those before the truck moved on, and then still get spoken to when I took two minutes to catch my breath outside of break times.
I won't go too much more into detail about many of the “management” issues going on, but I will say that safety was a footnote in the enforced policies until there was a LTI – of which this year alone there's been a number of.
I say this as a 40 year old who is really beginning to feel a lot older physically just simply due to the demand placed on me. Now don't get me wrong, I like to move fast, I like to get things done and in a safe and timely manner. But to say I am noticing age slowing me down is an understatement. I get to a point where I am just so absolutely toasted that some days I can't even get to work, and my anxiety peaks just thinking about yet another shift of insane pressure, all because they won't hire competent staff without taking them off my line and using them elsewhere.
A friend and former colleague who works there came for a few drinks last night and told me just how much of a shit show my area has turned into, with three people now trying to do what I managed to do alone. That sort of really made me think that you know perhaps, perhaps I am tired.
Having enjoyed the last couple of weeks using what was my “side gig” as my primary income, being able to choose not to work a particular day has really shown me how much I've grown to despise working like I have in all my previous roles.
I guess I'm rambling.
But is it wrong that I really don't want to go back to someone else's schedule? Is it wrong that I would rather “work for myself” with the “side gig” I have and another one I am thinking about setting up? Do you think this makes me lazy? I wouldn't say I am – I want to work, I'm just tired of doing it for someone else and still “getting it wrong”.
I'm in Australia if it makes your thoughts on it any easier.