For context i work in the dairy at a little supermarket in my town.
Ive worked in a supermarket before as well as other places. But something is snapping inside of me. I feel trapped almost like im a prisoner to this radio. Im not over exaggerating, that is exactly what id say to my therapist. I feel like all i do is sleep and wake and listen to country and loosely placed 90s soft pop. Its grading and slowly turning me into a always “overstimulated zombie”. I have panic attacks on the daily, punching the wall or screaming “f**k at the top of my lungs.
It feels inhumane and is literally the definition of insanity (shout out to far cry 3). Its pushing me to my limites, i work 40 hours and am still considered part time. The customers are pushing me as well but they are pushing everybody.
To combat this i have one earbud in under a beanie but it still does jack shit. Im slowly snapping and progressively moving towards a permanent disassociation. No seems to understand. They all say oh i tune it out. But what if you cant. What if you cant combat this hell like everyone else. There is no joy for me only repeating songs that alter every 2 days.
Ive applied to almost everywhere in my small town and no ones looking at applications
My boss said hes gonna try to get me more hours next week. But i dont want more hours. I want more hours of my life but not work.