I just moved to a job where I only have 30 hours of actual work a week, it's m-F, I have a great supportive boss, great structure, no micro management. All things I thought was going to be important to me. Friday was my first day on the job myself. And I had to leave earlier than I wanted to because I couldn't meet the quota I needed to meet and had a legit panic attack due to what I've finally realized is my anxiety flaring up.
I'm laying in bed right now at almost 3 in the morning worrying about going back to work. I'm worried I won't be able to do it without having a panic attack again. Even right now my heart feels like it's thumping out of my chest and I can't sleep. I can't afford to not work!
My boss is great. He told me he sees potential in me and plans to promote me. But I won't be promoted if I suck at my job.
I think I've realized that anytime I have strict deadlines or goals that directly impact my income, or employment I get anxious. In this job (sales) it gets broken down to the hour. So every hour that goes by without a sale I know I'm an entire hour in the hole. And then a whole day goes by and I got 0 and the guy next to me got 6. I'm fucked!!
Idk what to do! Will I never be able to hold down a job again!?