Sorta rambling here, apologies if my thoughts are all over the place.
I didn't quite understand anti-work sentiments until this year. Honestly, I had a very closed-minded point of view that some people didn't understand the value of hard work. You can't live for free in this world, right? It's not that some people don't want to work; rather, it's insane how we are expected to sacrifice our well being and time while also receiving little in return. Nobody cares if you are healthy or happy as long as you're being productive.
In April or so, I had an epiphany about my own employment situation. After 11 years in my profession (education), it's not getting better. I try my best and end up with more problems than peace. People around me have worked all of their lives but have very little to show for it.
This school year in particular has been bad. I've experienced more anxiety, sleepless nights, stress, and weight gain more than ever before. Some days were ok, and then there were many days that I dreamed of hopping in my car and going to live in the mountains or some shit.
To address some of these issues, I joined a health coaching program offered by my employer. The program teaches intuitive eating, stress management, and self-compassion. As I worked with my coach, I realized that most of my issues were a direct response to the stress of my job. I'm fine on the weekends and e-learning days when students/parents aren't around. Come Monday, everything hits me like a ton of bricks and I am in survival mode till Friday at 4.
So my coach gives me all these strategies – meditation, grounding, journaling (which are helpful, by the way) – but I got to thinking….why the fuck am I learning strategies to function within dysfunction? Wouldn't it make more sense for my employer to alleviate the dysfunction so my colleagues and I aren't relying on these programs in the first place? It's ass backwards. I hate to sound ungrateful, but these benefits and wellness tips are a kid-sized bandaid on a gaping wound.
There's a ton of politics that go into education, so there are many places to point the finger. All I know is that I can't do this much longer. I have loans so I need to work, but I am determined create a life that I don't want to run away from.
Humans were not meant to live this way. I firmly believe that a lot of physical and mental issues are caused by the high-stress environments we live in. That's a rant for another day.
Thanks for listening. Hope y'all are doing ok out there.