Years ago I was in an abusive relationship. If you’re familiar with the signs, alienating the victim through isolation and forcing them to act a certain way or walk on eggshells are common signs.
But part of the long term trauma from these life events has a striking resemblance to a lot of the mental health issues seen in office environments and white collar jobs. Let me explain.
The relationship I was in lasted for 5 years. One of the things I wasn’t prepared for when it ended, was the complete loss of self or direction to happiness in my life. I had no idea who I was because I hadn’t focused on any part of myself in years.
If you’re familiar with white collar office work, you’ll know there’s a very stale culture of bland inoffensive passive statements cobbled together in small talk. It’s like a constant stream of safe language and references to the weekend. You can’t listen to music that makes you stand out, you can’t swear at your computer, can’t reheat fish, dress a certain way, etc.
I feel like this very culture causes people to lose their sense of self because everything is an effort to fit in and conform. It’s exhausting. There is no “being yourself”. Being forced to be someone other than you day-in and day-out is awful. It turns out, getting to be “you” for 3 hours a day causes mental health issues. Needs get neglected, hobbies are lost, friends go stale as you have nothing of interest to discuss outside of office antics. You literally get isolated.
As someone who has recently started a work from home job, all this has become so clear. Getting to play video games on your lunch, explore new musical genres at full blast while you work, running errands and appointments when convenient, it has allowed me to feel human again. This needs to be the norm. The concept of an office needs to go the way of the top hat and wearing a suit to work (I know there’s exceptions).