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Antiwork

Paid to Quit

A few years ago, I worked for a startup. It was pretty ok day-to-day until the CEO sold the company to a billionaire that didn't care about the company. Things quickly devolved, new management was brought in and the company went from “ok” to “fucking awful” in a matter of weeks. My coworkers began to drop like flies and with their resignations came angry Glassdoor reviews. Essentially, the company already paid terribly, exploited people to work past normal office hours and fired a number of qualified leaders for no good reason. My team leader, who was amazing (Pat, you the man), was let go for not going along with all the quick and thoughtless changes to the company. My team co-worker, who was a higher up from me, quickly found a new job and absolutely railed the company via Glassdoor. They left such an awful Glassdoor review that our new…


A few years ago, I worked for a startup. It was pretty ok day-to-day until the CEO sold the company to a billionaire that didn't care about the company. Things quickly devolved, new management was brought in and the company went from “ok” to “fucking awful” in a matter of weeks.

My coworkers began to drop like flies and with their resignations came angry Glassdoor reviews. Essentially, the company already paid terribly, exploited people to work past normal office hours and fired a number of qualified leaders for no good reason. My team leader, who was amazing (Pat, you the man), was let go for not going along with all the quick and thoughtless changes to the company. My team co-worker, who was a higher up from me, quickly found a new job and absolutely railed the company via Glassdoor.

They left such an awful Glassdoor review that our new CEO held a company meeting. During this said meeting, our CEO stated, in front of everyone, that if “Anyone had a problem and hated their job, they could quit, no questions asked for $2,000”. He also said he would pay for it personally, lol.

Well, little did my company know that I had just crushed an interview, hours before this company-wide meeting, when I was at my “doctors appointment”. The following day I received an offer for my new job and promptly slacked my current CEO to let him know I would be taking that offer for $2k of severance to quit. He was flabbergasted. LOL. After arguing with me over slack for a few minutes, he decided that I should take the weekend to reconsider and get back to him on Monday (it was a Friday). I accepted his suggestion and prepared for a real fight on Monday as I knew he was going to try and wriggle out of his offer. But the dude made this statement in front of the entire office, so fuck him, I'm holding his feet to the fire.

It's worth mentioning that this new CEO only worked in office 2 days a week and was back up in New Jersey? with his family the other 5 days working remotely. Everyone else in the office did not have an option to work from home LOL until someone complained and we got 1 day (fucking lmao). Everything could be done remotely, it was a matter of whether management had anything to do.

So, Monday rolls around, I'm anxious as fuck and a go into our office and sit in my CEOs office until he arrives. Well, 15 minutes past and I'm noticing he isn't here. Normally, he was in office Monday and Tuesday… weird… he didn't come in today.

I call him on his personal phone. Again, he's flabbergasted that I had the gall to call him. I re-stated that I wanted to take him up on that offer. After much arm twisting and bullshit, he finally agrees and tells me to let accounting know.

I let my team know that I was quitting and that I was very sad (was not sad, had to hold in my excitement). After leaving I was mailed my check after two weeks… well, guess what? The fuckers shorted me.

After all that, they made up some bull about how I “used vacation time during the final months” and they redacted $250 bucks from the check. I mean, good grief.

Any who, moral of the story is fuck these capitalists pigs. They want millennials to work and dig in trenches, fine, don't give me a surprised Pikachu face when we fuck you right back.

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