I'm about to pass on an 80k job, most I've ever been offered, because I can't bear to be an employee stuck in office all the time with no control over my own time.. it makes me incredibly stressed and anxious.
Instead I'm going to try again to work for myself as a contractor and will probably only make 30-40k, but at least I'll control my time and work.
Problem is I'm feeling immense amount of guilt about not taking the higher paying more corporate job. I feel like many people would love to have that opportunity and I'm just blowing it so I can have more time for myself.
Am I crazy? Am I selfish?
I'm dealing with long covid and physical and mental health problems also.. but I think I've always felt this way about traditional work, yet it still feels really bad to not be able to handle a normal job situation like most other people seem to do.
I should be celebrating this opportunity right now. But instead I'm down and depressed and feel like I just don't fit into this world and I'm going to be struggling financially forever..