Tldr: I’ve been labeled as the “weird quiet” girl and it feels like my entire floor hates me
Hi I’m (25F) a software engineer at a large tech company in the US. I’ve been labeled as the “weird coworker” and I don’t know how to fix my reputation here. This is the start of my career so I want to stay here for at least a couple years so I can build up my resume if I quit now I’m afraid it will be difficult to find a job that pays as well/similar benefits. I have a lot of debt from student loans so if I lose this job my life is fucked. I’ve worked here for about 3 months. I’m a huge introvert and I’ve always struggled with socializing. I have depression and social anxiety but I try my hardest to be nice to everyone I meet. Everyday I hear people that have never introduced themselves to me complain that I’m too quiet. I hear them whispering about me all the time. It’s been making me feel extremely anxious to the point where I’m crying at my cubicle. I’ve never said a negative word towards anyone when I see people in the hallway I say “Hi How are ya” I try to make small talk when I’m at the water cooler but it doesn’t help they always have something to say about me. Usually I’ll hear my name and then whispering and then a bunch of people laughing. It literally feels like being bullied. Or I’ll hear “She’s just one of THOOOOSE people”. A few times that were obvious that I was being talked about were: one time I was walking to my desk and 2 guys were standing in the quad 30 ft from me and I hear one of them say “AAAAND THERE SHE ISSSS” in a condescending tone. Another time I was in the break room eating my lunch and 3 guys walk in and one of them goes “SHES IN HERE” I was the only woman in the room. Whenever a new person starts they go up to the new person and tell them how I’m the “weird” one. I’ve literally heard people say “yeah everyone here is chill EXCEPT for this one weird girl” Last week I heard a girl right outside my cubicle say “WHERE DOES THE WEIRD GIRL SIT AGAIN????” And a man pointed over the wall of my cubicle directly into my cubicle and said “SHE SITS HERE ”
I already dread coming in and I’m starting to feel more and more hopeless. I’ve gotten nothing but the cold shoulder from coworkers. Whenever they have free lunches for us I avoid them because I don’t want to be around people like that. My mental health has been getting so bad.
I feel like my only option is to just put up with it for the paycheck. And I’m afraid that they will find a reason to fire me if this continues it feels like everyone on my floor hates me