Recently was promoted to a managerial role after about two and a half years of unrecognized abuse from my manager. I tried to push through their comments and verbal outbursts, and was successful in tuning it out for my own career purposes. However, when I got into the new role and was already burnt out and now dealing with even more chaos, I decided this isn’t worth ruining my physical and mental health anymore.
Our team manager was reported to HR by 3 different people on a small team (max 6-7 people at the time), myself being the 4th person to report. HR did nothing. Everyone brought the issues of verbal harassment and abuse, retaliation for reporting to HR, etc. to the attention of the director too, including myself once I was bumped into my new role. It was swept under the rug, and I haven’t heard anything since. I was promised there’d be a formal apology to the team; to me. There’d be changes. Nothing. A month went by with no updates from HR or the director.
I had no support in the transition process to management. I have no ability to make decisions because of the stronghold my manager has over the entire team. Most of us are rendered voiceless. My manager is on the same level as me in management, but still manage me. (No shock there, this was their plan all along now that I’ve heard from others). It was chaotic transferring into the managerial role because my manager was verbally abusive. My last straw was when I took an afternoon off because a family member died, and they kept assigning/unassigning things to me while out for a few hours; responding to things that had nothing to do with them. I two days off last week as I was really sick, and I received so many notifications from their actions on different work platforms that were related to my accounts. By the end of the second day of unnecessary passive-aggression, I made the decision it’s time to leave.
I had to start taking SSRIs because my anxiety spiraled from this person. I used to have absolutely no issue going into an office, working 9-5 M-F, living a normal life. Suddenly I was self-isolating, panicking in social situations, unable to even speak without fear I’d be put down. Work abuse it real, and it’s never worth sticking around for. I feared speaking up for so long, mostly because I thought it was just me. Turns out it was effecting almost everyone on the team, and I wish our actions would’ve led to a change because they’re all amazing, hardworking people who deserve happiness and the room to breathe.
I’ve felt guilt, uncertainty, and anxiety this whole weekend. But I’d rather drop $120k+, a shitload of stock, benefits, etc. and run down my savings than deal with this any longer. There is nothing worse than having insomnia because you fear the next day. But I know the anxiety of another chance somewhere else where I’ll be happier and healthier is way better than being in an abusive relationship until my stock finally vests. Wish me luck, tomorrow is the conversation about resignation.