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/r/antiwork helped me spot red flags on a first date

Went on a date last week with a woman I matched with on a dating app. Things were going okay, and I asked if she wants to order a second round of drinks. She says she can't because she has to go back to work after the date. This was in the evening, so she would have been going back to work after 9pm by that point. She didn't tell me this would be the case beforehand, even though she knew. But that's not the real red flag here. She said the reason she had to go back to work was because they were at the finishing stretch of a big project, but several employees had requested time off that week, all of which was approved, so she had to cover their work. I brought up this subreddit and some of the horror stories I've read here, and I applauded…


Went on a date last week with a woman I matched with on a dating app. Things were going okay, and I asked if she wants to order a second round of drinks. She says she can't because she has to go back to work after the date. This was in the evening, so she would have been going back to work after 9pm by that point. She didn't tell me this would be the case beforehand, even though she knew. But that's not the real red flag here. She said the reason she had to go back to work was because they were at the finishing stretch of a big project, but several employees had requested time off that week, all of which was approved, so she had to cover their work. I brought up this subreddit and some of the horror stories I've read here, and I applauded her for being able and willing to do the job so her employees could have the time off. She said that she would have never approved the time off if she were in charge at the time, but the previous manager approved it all. I said that's unfortunate, but the employees deserve to be able to use their vacation time, and I used the example of a camping trip that can't be rescheduled because all your friends are already committed to going. She said that even if you planned the trip and all your friends are going to go, work should come first because you made a contract with your employer, and you can't just take time off whenever you want. But even that's not the real red flag.

The real red flag was when she compared not cancelling my hypothetical camping trip for work like not cancelling it if your girlfriend asks you to. She went on about this, and from her tone I could tell in her mind, romantic relationships were like a boss/employee relationship, with the same transactional power dynamic. I said that's entirely different and all depends on the context. In hindsight, I wish I had pushed back on that comment more, but the conversation moved on. It really bothered me afterwards.

Needless to say, there won't be a second date.

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