- Warning: long but well-written rant ahead
- tl;dr: seemingly great job turns out to be packed with assholes. I'm excited for them to fire me.
- Alt account for anonymity…
I'm a professional writer, with an exceptional portfolio of work done for global brands and clients in 20 countries. I know my shit. I'm good at what I do. Really good.
Earlier this year, I was offered a Communications Director position at a firm whose areas of specialty and stated values match my own. They offered unlimited PTO, solid bonuses, good benefits, and the highest pay of any position I've ever had. I turned down another excellent offer to take this job, and everything seemed great – at first.
Well, it turns out that I don't know what I'm doing.
Months in, no one has taken the time to fully brief me on the expectations of the position, despite my asking. They brought me on to build a new line of business but declined to talk strategy, despite my asking. My onboarding was interrupted several times and never finished, despite my asking.
I've produced solid, defensible work, only to be chewed out for not meeting the CEO's exact, unstated, and variable expectations. Feedback often comes in the form of snide comments (“Did you steal this from a fortune cookie?” “This is the stupid cliche-est of all the stupid cliches.”).
My revisions are accepted without comment, and further feedback comes either a month later, or not at all. I once asked about that and was told, “I've got better things to do.”
And the hits keep coming.
In a recent chewing-out, the VP said (paraphrased), “Write this very specific thing. Stop taking notes!” Fuck you, I'm a writer. I need my notes. This is the same VP who once got angry with me because I obeyed the CEO's orders, rather than doing what she -thought- I should do.
The CEO and VP have repeatedly failed to attend Zoom calls with me that -they- scheduled, and turnover has been shockingly high – it's a small company, and in the last 6 months they've lost at least 7 employees and only hired 4 to replace them.
I've decided that I'm done, but I won't quit – they're going to have to fire me. I'm already on the hunt for a new position and I have some great leads, but I'm not above collecting unemployment if it comes to that. I'm happy to raise their unemployment insurance premiums while I'm at it.
Well, today I received a formal warning with 30 days' probation, and I'm thrilled – it won't be long now. In that meeting the CEO actually said to me, “Unfortunately, the law doesn't give me a method of deducting your pay for every hour I have to spend on your work.”
So, he can go fuck himself. Or, in the words of the prophet, “take this job and shove it, I ain't working here no more.”