I have worked for Target in one of their distribution centers for the past 3 years. It used to be an amazing place to work: I would come in early, take on extra responsibilities, take on projects, and generally take the initiative to learn how to do everything in the building. The management was primarily made up of tenured team members who had been promoted, so they were knowledgeable about their roles and had good relationships with their teams. Since COVID, however, a lot of tenured management has left and they've been replaced with a bunch of early-20-somethings fresh out of college who have never worked or touched a box in their lives. They make up for their lack of general adult knowledge by being insufferably militaristic about silly rules (clear water bottles, bathroom break times, etc) and deferring most of their responsibilities to trainers and tenured employees. Among the 1,200 current employees across 4 shifts, I am one of 8 who is fully trained in a certain function that essentially enables me to control the entire inventory in the warehouse and the truck yard. I applied for lead roles several times over the past 2 years, and was always marked “Ready for promotion” but never given the job. I could write a novel detailing the number of ways my time, ideas, and job knowledge have been completely taken advantage of within this company so that my superiors were promoted or rewarded and I got….more work, and even punishment.
My manager and I got into a minor disagreement about some staffing choices, and I flat out told her that she was making a mistake that WE, the peasants, would have to fix. She responded by looking me in the eye and saying, “UnderHisEye420, I am your manager and you have to respect me,” attempting to end the conversation there by walking off. I absolutely snapped inside and said (not yelled) “I absolutely fucking do not. Respect is earned, and you have done nothing to earn that respect from me or anyone else on this team.” I will never forget her response.
Condescending chuckle “Respect isn't earned, it is only lost.”
I was in such shock I said nothing more, handed her my badge, and went home. I called on my day off to schedule a meeting with HR the following work day, and when I arrived for my shift at 6 (meeting at 6:30) I was met with a Disciplinary Action (the severest level of a write up). I did not sign it and took it with me to HR as proof of attempted retaliation and got the DA dropped. But my boss still has her job and I have been “reassigned” to a different team. Things aren't great, but I am left alone. I simply go to work, get my money, and forget the place exists whenever I'm not there. But jesus christ on a cracker, what absolute narcissistic fuck of a person lives by a “respect is only lost” rhetoric?
Management thinks this way. We have created a society that uses “respect” and “authority” interchangeably, and being offended gives one authority, by catering to the ego rather than reality; that if you don't inherently possess authority via some vest or a badge, you don't have to be respected. Of course I believe every human being deserves basic respect, but absolutely not my authority, and not by demand. I respect my team and they respect me, because we have put in the work together and proven that we can depend on each other to get shit done. We have communicated, problem solved, and physically labored together for 48 hours a week for 3+ years, and we have earned the respect of our peers in those ways. I would love to say “In the real world, respect is earned!” But that would also be untrue, as we obviously see on the news and in our own routines every day. But the truth is, respect is earned; it is only in the worthwhile world you build for yourself. And that should be the only world we care about.