Context: My team helps other teams with process improvements or just come up with better solutions to the way we work in general! Couple of members from Team X have been complaining about one of the shortcomings of a process that is due to system limitations. So, I have been chasing them to set up a meeting to gather their feedback and come up with a solution.
Incident: I meet virtually with the 3 of the main members of Team X (pretty senior positions). We are all on cameras and I start by thanking everyone for calling in, even though it is their request that I am helping out with, and they were the ones making it difficult to meet. No one responded to that, said anything or thanked me back for at least setting up the meeting! So, right off the bat something felt off – in my company folks are usually well manners and/or polite –
Regardless, I started providing an overview of the issue and what could be the workaround to fix it – as soon as I started doing that, I noticed that one of them started typing something while smirking. Right after, another member starting giggling (on mute) and trying to hold back laughter (think middle school shenanigans) and lastly the 3rd person joined in by smiling. There were all in different locations. It was so obvious that the 2nd person turned off their camera for a minute or 2 (to probably fix their composure). It was very distracting to the point that I had to pause and think to myself whether I should say something!
I chose to be professional about it and just continued on the conversation. They were clearly all in a private chat, most probably making fun of me in some capacity. I have never encountered such experience that left a bad taste in my mouth and felt very uncomfortable. Obviously, I have no evidence of what went on but I honestly felt bullied and I am not sure how to continue with this?
I would be grateful if someone can share a similar experience or any advice on the best course of action moving forward. I have a scheduled meeting with my manager and he is usually supportive but I know he has a good relationship with Team X and I worry that he either going to downplay it or dismiss it!
Questions that going through my head:
- Should I make a big deal out of this?
- Should I drop it? I am worried that if I drop it, it would develop to something else every time I interact with them as I already have a reaction based on this experience.
- Involve HR (maybe ask them to mediate future meetings)?
- Ask my manager if I can drop interacting with this team (this might be hard)
- Will mentioning this put my career in jeopardy?
- Follow up with the culprits in an email and tell them how I felt (maybe seek an apology)?
- Cancel the follow up meeting on this (maybe resolve the problem and remove myself from any future requests?)
*in case you are wondering, there was nothing funny about my appearance, background or anything I said during the meeting (didn't even make any mistakes talking). I usually have a good read on people and something did not feel right. One of the other signs were their use of language, like “I don't get why you can't just do that … it is very simple” signaling dismissal or uncollaborative behavior.
Thank you in advance