I don't know if I am able to pull off the later in my question as I am hating this job too much. I hate it with a passion. To the point I don't even try to achieve more. Just work enough and reach the baseline of requirements.
This job turned out to be 180 degrees different than I thought. I found out I got paid less than the dude who joined the team at the same time at me, who always under performance, rarely reached target etc. Meanwhile, here I am working my ass off knowing someone didn't even work that hard that got paid more.
Everything with this job is absolute nightmare. But I need the money. I can't afford to leave without another job. I tried and indeed went for a few interviews but no luck, or the salary is too low than I expected.
What should I do?
I felt so stuck. I'm stressed out. The thought of going into work gave me nauseous every morning. I have stomach ache and Gerd due to this job.
Job is never ending. OT in the weekend without pay because if I don't, I will have to work twice as hard on Monday cause tasks are doubled. High expectations with limited resources. Some people seriously got me thinking how could they even secured this job to begin with. Public shaming. Personal growth and performance are out in the open for everyone to see. Peers pressure. Co-workers don't really want to help because they are barely got there themselves (with the help of tricks and cheating). Very toxic work culture.
Tests and updates every week.
I feel so sick typing this.
Edit: I forgot to mention, cheating on the jobs like seniors choosing easy tasks to do and leaving the difficult/complex ones for anyone who unlucky enough to grab. Shit. The more I talk, the more I hate this job.