My mind is a mess right now because for entirely too long now, people like my mom have been heavy on my mind. People who have spent the bigger part of their lives killing themselves and wearing themselves down before their time with hard manual labor, for sht pay, at sht jobs that they hate, just so they can still struggle to pay a mortgage payment on a house that they don't even get to spend any time at or in, due to all the wage-slaving. And the icing on the sht cake iiiis….
THEY DON'T ACTUALLY EVEN WANT THE DAMN HOUSE. They especially don't want the 30 years of mortgage payments. They don't want most of the things they're working their lives away to pay for. But they don't know that they don't want the things. That's most people everywhere and of every age group though I suppose. It was even me once upon a time.
The man says that this is what you want to have in life, so this must be what you want to have in life.
Ugh.
I've tried to talk to my mom and get her to open her mind up to the idea that maybe she doesn't want her house and truck with their massive payments, as much as she has always thought she wants them, and that perhaps she'd actually be less stressed and a lot happier if she had fewer financial obligations. I don't think anyone from my mother's generation has ever questioned much of anything. I'm sure that there are exceptions, of course, as with everything in the world.
I hope I am not coming off as harsh or judgy about any of this. That is SO not my intention in this post. What I am trying to express is the heaviness my heart feels for my mom and for all those like her who are stuck in this seemingly endless, meaningless and unhappy cycle because of our beloved system, and yet they are so conditioned by this system that they will not allow themselves to begin seeing things in any other way.
Another thing I really hate seeing are the people who were once normal people, then the system turns them into one of its monsters. The people who don't realize they're on the wrong size, thinking they're part of it and that the system loves them and won't try to eat them, and so they go around treating the ones who are actually their people like garbage.(An example of those people are… well, a lot of general managers I've known lol)
But anyway I do truly hurt for my mom. I hate to see her, especially at her age, still working so hard, and yet still struggling to get by like she does. Like she always has. We're poor central Kentucky folk, one of the most ruthlessly wage-enslaved not to mention the other ways the rich have always stepped on us. (ahem* oxycontin, and the destruction that has followed in it's wake.) But my point to all that is that I think those factors about our particular region, contribute hugely to why my mother gets so angry and even scared, I think, when I try to talk to her about the system being just so completely FUCXED and evil, etc. She like refuses to talk about any of it and treats me the way she did when I was a teenage anarchist and I said something silly. And when I persist she kinda just flips and she seriously all but covers her ears screaming “LA LAA LAAA, III CAANT HEEARR YOUUU!!”
Well, I'm not really sure why I'm writing all this. Maybe I just needed to get it all out. Or maybe I'm looking for someone to acknowledge that they share my thoughts. I am alone with my thought and ideas and theories and such WAAAY too often lol. I get to where I feel like I'm losing my damn mind. If you're still with my, thanks for reading (:
TL;DR – the world sux.