Our new regional manager is a huge sports nut and wanted to go big this year, we had a meeting a few weeks ago where he came in with a jersey on, face painted, and a big foam finger. He was fired up and screaming and said he wants to make national news for our super bowl displays.
First we built a massive replica of the super bowl stadium out of cans of refried beans. It's right there as you walk into the store and looks stupid as fuck. Had a few of the younger stockboys help, they said it was like playing Minecraft. I didn't get to leave until 2 am. We also built a Dr. Pepper fanzone out of crates of soda. Basically a big sports castle. There are even flatscreen TVs in there. I happened to check it the next day and saw a homeless guy jacking off.
We even put artificial turf down in all the aisles. It was used and we got it free from some local high school that replaced their field. It looks awful and those little black pieces of rubber are now everywhere.
Saturday he has an elaborate celebration planned with some retired Bengal and a marching band. I have already called in sick. He has been emailing “tips” about our display to local news stations using all sorts of made up identities but so far none of them have cared.
I can't wait for this shit to end.