Was told by my company last week that they don't have enough funds to keep me on. The reason? The projects they thought would crop up by now didn't really materialize because the industry is going through the big C related recession. (Logistics/supply chain related engineering industry)
They probably knew for a couple of months that this would happen. Had a check in with my manager and she mentioned nothing. I had a sinking feeling when a check in call was suddenly put on my calendar for a Thursday afternoon, and lo and behold, my worst fears came true.
How are they going to use the money saved from letting me go? They will use them to hire another person who will do his job PLUS my responsibilities. Ha. Ha ha. Ha freaking ha. They have no idea what my workload is. Upper management is either delusional or lying to the new person about what his workload is going to be.
They did stress to me multiple times that they loved what I contributed to the team and that I did my job really well, but that they need to create funds out of somewhere for their new goals, and axing my position was the best option.
To be fair, my team and manager were absolutely lovely to work with. I'm just heartbroken right now. I thought I'd finally arrived at a place of stability in my career. It's really hard to get paid your worth as a woman in STEM, and I finally had it after a bunch of jobs that exploited my skills and experience for garbage pay. Until this. And now it's gone.
I don't feel like a person any more, just a cog in the machine, tossed aside to make way for the new direction it needs to go in. Or a new cog. I don't know what I'm saying. My brain is fried.
I know I'll be okay in the long term (I think) but right now, it feels pretty fucking hopeless.