This question is kinda rhetorical, but I do wonder: when a job objectively would be shit out of luck if I left, why do I still feel trapped? I don’t feel the “power” I “have.” I know this is in part bc acting as an individual in a workplace is not a winning strategy. Strength and power come from the collective. However, I am in a unique position that warrants me working alone a lot. When people do decide to pay attention to me, it’s either a command or a criticism. I am so sick of putting up with normalized disrespect, and I am sitting here at my desk thinking, if I quit tomorrow, they’d be fucked. All I have heard the past week is how “this is going to be a hellish 3 months” or “get ready to suffer!” Why wouldn’t anyone want to quit after hearing this incessantly from every superior?
Knowing that they need me doesn’t give me any ease; actually, I feel more stuck and more hopeless than I did before I realized this.
Doesn’t it seem like when your job depends on you the most, that is when the disrespect and gaslighting is the worst ? It makes my head spin. American workplaces are so abusive; this phenomenon happens all the time, and yet, I still go home and cry because I don’t get any appreciation or validation at work, despite being told everything hinges on me.
This post may not provoke much discussion, and that’s okay – I’m venting. But if you have felt this at your job, what do we do to get the fuck out of it? Because if I get told to “take notes” or “ask questions” one more time, as a response to me pointing out my lack of training or support, I will shit.