TLDR: I was given a schedule after returning from a FMLA. I responded saying I cannot work some of those days, so sorry, these are the days I am available. They countered by saying 'if you decide not to show up we will consider it job abandonment and you will have resigned your position”. Can they do that? It's not job abandonment if I tell them I'm unavailable on certain days, but available these other days, right?
The long story:
Early July I was hospitalized for suicidal ideations. Was in a stressful as fuck job that was salaried. Working overtime was expected but no pay increase cuz, well that's just what is expected! I was not taking care of myself very well. Poor mental health 🥴. Got out of the hospital and quit that job. Focused on the wrong things tho… have to find work. Need income, need health insurance for therapy and anti-depressants. Didn't focus much on getting better, the job had to come first. Found a new job in late July. Became the assistant manager for a sleepy retail store. Big pay cut, but it was supposed to be low stress so whatever … I started on a Monday. By Friday my boss told me she's quitting in 2 weeks and now I'm inheriting her responsibilities by default. Also we have a new regional manager starting Monday. So he's the one you have to talk to about all this…
New regional manager starts. I talk to him like hey, wtf? He doesn't know wtf… I told him if I'm inheriting all these responsibilities I expect a pay increase and I need these dates off coming up for my best friend's wedding party. He tries to compromise with me but I end up getting the weekend off… Awesome show, great job .
The week after the wedding party I have to work all day in the store alone for 3 out of my 5 shifts. Can't close the store for lunch but also have to punch out for lunch because the law… Suck it up buttercup… Can't close the store for bathroom breaks, just have to throw a sign up saying “please don't steal shit, be back in 10 mins”. I barely know where things even are in this shit box and now I'm in charge of it…
The wedding party happens. I have a good time on paper but bad time in my brain. GF was having a bad time. Pretty difficult interactions with some old faces asking me where all my hair went (I have alopecia universalis. Last time they saw me I had long hair and beard. Now I barely have eyebrows). Lots of shame, struggling to be happy for my bro when I'm not feeling happy, struggling to take care of my GF when I wanna be having fun. everything seems painful and pointless and tragic. Get home, take a few too many substances to numb the pain, make a low key attempt to take my life again. End up back in the hospital on Monday. Was in there until Thursday and then xferred to a new “plz dont kill urself” program. Got out, bunch of voicemails from work asking why am I not there, are you gonna return to work? They were calling my GF like everyday asking how I'm doing, am I back yet? Can I just fucking return to work yet? ..
I file the FMLA paperwork. It's approved until 9/10, after a lot of doctors notes and dodging questions like “we know you have a lot on your plate rn … But it would be super helpful if we knew if you plan on returning to work or not” …. I say I need this time to focus on recovering. They say wellllllllll since you didn't answer the question, we're going to try to replace you. Still on my FMLA when the regional manager sends me a schedule he made… Which includes my buddies actual wedding date … Told him hey, I'm looking forward to returning to work but I'm not available those days. Then he says if I don't show it's gonna be considered “job abandonment and that you resign your position.”
I'm not a lazy person. I usually work pretty hard, push myself to learn and grow and be good at what I do. I don't want to quit this job yet because I don't have a plan B. If they can't approve my time off requests, fine, fuck it. I wouldn't mind being fired and collecting unemployment for a bit to carve out some time for myself. Maybe find a reason to live? Maybe take some time to work out a new career trajectory.
If they get away with classifying this as “job abandonment and forfeiting your position” I can't collect unemployment. I'd rather they fire me so I can have some sort of income in the interim… But there's no way I'm missing my best friend's wedding for a shitty job I don't even want.
Any advice would be great thanks community!