Being active duty USAF, my entire life is essentially owned by the government. If they want me to deploy, I deploy. If they want me working 12 hour shifts for 6 days a week, then that's what I work. They want me to say “goodbye” to my family for a year on a remote short tour, then that's what I do. This causes a lot of people to burn out, or causes their family to fall apart. The reality is that, in the military, unlike a conventional job, you don't really get a choice. You don't get to turn off your phone, you don't get to walk away from the job. So those of us who give a damn about our personal time and our family have to find ways to balance work life and home life without sacrificing either one. I've compiled a short list of things I do personally to make that balance happen in my own life.
Disclaimer; Some of these aren't applicable to all workplaces
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The biggest thing first and foremost is to disregard the grindset mentality. A lot of the stress put on the home life of a member isn't because of leadership or the missions' demands, it's because of the member's own actions. I see salty old NCO's all the time on their third divorce who have one thing in common: They're there way too early, and they stay way too late. There's a difference between coming in 30 minutes before your troops to get things done, and then coming in 3 hours before your troops. We don't get released early so there's no difference if we get the job done by noon or by 1500, except one thing looks better in award packages and performance reports. Is that promotion really worth your daughter's first steps, or your wife's birthday? Aren't you trying to get that promotion because of them?
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Don't be afraid to close the door on opportunity. Now usually you only get one or two of these, max, in your career. Sometimes you can't close the door on it at all. But if you don't want to take an assignment because you know it'll put stress on your relationship, then absolutely fight to get it deferred or extend your time at your current location. Commanders vary and some can be really sympathetic and understanding, and will grant you some leniency. In the civilian world, this might mean turning down that opportunity for a transfer to a new place if it means keeping your life together, whether that's friends or family. It might mean turning down training that will push you into higher levels of leadership where you're expected to spend more than a healthy amount of time at work. It's OK to say no.
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Accept that mediocrity isn't a bad thing. What people say is “mediocre” is really just code for “average, but I don't like it”. However, average isn't bad at all. Average is finishing your day's work, getting groceries, and watching a TV show or playing games before going to bed. Average is spending your off days going to the movies or exploring the mall with your friends. Average is getting lost in a game or a book. Why the hell is average looked down on so much?. Fast-burners will try to shame you for being average because they see overworking as exceptional, and if they don't pat themselves on the back for overworking, nobody will. You can be above average by working obscene hours and overproducing to no real effect, or you can be mediocre and enjoy a life that doesn't require effort to just live.
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Promotions come and go, so don't take on more work than you have to. Opportunities for upward mobility might seem scarce, but they're definitely there. For us, the opportunity to promote comes around once a year and it's dependent on your performance report, decorations, time in service, and scores on the promotion test. At higher levels it's dependent on what a board thinks about you. But in the end, this doesn't really matter. The people who are constantly interfacing with leadership will be the ones whose names get recognized when time comes to submit those packages. And those who know what they're doing and fill mission-critical roles will be recognized for what they're doing. But you don't get promoted for having your team work 12 hour shifts on their off days. You don't get promoted because the wing commander happens to catch you working on your day off. Leadership doesn't look at the fast-burners and say “Wow, what a good worker!”. They see somebody they can push work onto because they know it will get done, and because the fast-burner has made a name for themselves as somebody who prioritizes work over all else, that's the role they'll be stuck with until they change stations.
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When you do eventually become a leader, remember that time off is also a reward. If you stay in the military long enough, odds are you'll fill a senior leadership position before you retire. When that happens, it's important to remember that a lot of troops are looking for opportunities to prove themselves by taking on more work or grow and develop as an airman. It's also important to remember that there are motivated airman who just want an extra day off to add into the mix. It seems so many leaders forget that the greatest gift they can give for morale is a day off, and this gets lost in translation when they make one of your actual off days into a mandatory “fun day”, complete with milquetoast BBQ and cornhole.
I know this advice isn't applicable to every career field, but maybe it will help somebody. Or at least, this might encourage people to think of their own work/life balance and what they can do to improve it. I've definitely found a stark contrast between myself and my peers when it comes to burnout. Honestly, as long as the job gets done, at the end of the day that's what matters. And that mindset has helped me personally stay well-balanced in a high-ops career. I hope this helps you, too.