That's right! Today is my 48th “first day on the job” ever.
A big shoutout and thank you to Teenage Me, who truly didn't tolerate an iota of shit from his bosses. It means a lot to me that you sometimes just quit a job because you were bored… or it was raining outside… or you had finally finished that book of crossword puzzles.
Next: My mom, who once told me, exasperated, that she didn't care if I quit my job as long as I had a new one ready before I quit. I didn't start actually doing that until my mid-20s, but it was a really nice thought.
Also to Pizza Hut, Subway, and Applebee's, who apparently don't have sophisticated enough corporate HR equipment to flag a disaffected artistè before rehiring at a different location. You guys sniff hired me at least twice. The magic of quitting you never left, even after two and three times. <3
And most of all: to myself. You now make double what you made three years ago, all from jack-knifing from job to job and getting that sweet disloyalty bonus for leaving. You figured out the trick is to never settle, care even less about them than they do you, and to always keep at least one resume out in the world.
Plus, you know how to do a host of unmarketable shit now — from basic cash register etiquette to spraying off golfcarts to scooping ice cream into a little Dixie cup. Without you, me, none of this would be possible. ️