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Antiwork

Toilet Paper Now 20% Off!

I work in a warehouse for a huge home improvement chain. I'll call it Lo's. A company-wide email was sent out very recently from the CEO. In this email (which I unfortunately can't provide because I can only access it on a work computer) the CEO says that he recognizes that the economy is crap right now, and cites high gas prices and inflation as troubling events that affect his hard-working wage slaves employees. With his almighty executive power and in the spirit of his ever-loving generosity, the CEO is offering a total of 20% off select products, such as cleaning wipes, soap, toilet paper, etc. Anyone know what 20% off a $23 pack of toilet paper is? $18.40. You just saved $4.60. That barely covers a gallon of gas in most places. Don't need toilet paper but need some other essential item not covered by the discount? Go fuck…


I work in a warehouse for a huge home improvement chain. I'll call it Lo's. A company-wide email was sent out very recently from the CEO. In this email (which I unfortunately can't provide because I can only access it on a work computer) the CEO says that he recognizes that the economy is crap right now, and cites high gas prices and inflation as troubling events that affect his hard-working wage slaves employees.
With his almighty executive power and in the spirit of his ever-loving generosity, the CEO is offering a total of 20% off select products, such as cleaning wipes, soap, toilet paper, etc. Anyone know what 20% off a $23 pack of toilet paper is? $18.40. You just saved $4.60. That barely covers a gallon of gas in most places. Don't need toilet paper but need some other essential item not covered by the discount? Go fuck yourself.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE!! Billy Mays here, with a new revolutionary way to get through even the toughest of recessions! Having a hard time affording to go to work? Gas prices eating up your wallet? Then just don't go to work! That's right folks, the best way to afford basic necessities is to cut your working hours to part-time! No longer will those pesky 40 hour paychecks drag your bank account down. Thanks to the generosity of your managers, 30 hours a week will be all you can have to do!
In all seriousness, yes: the CEO said that the best way to help his employees would be to start cutting hours and giving us 20% off random bullshit.
So, yeah.

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