I've been at this company for 22 years. I'm a college grad, but this isn't what I went to school for or anything. It was a low-level job that I took to have an income, and I've just stayed . . . and stayed. I kept having duties put on me over the years and became a supervisor, then manager, went from hourly to salary in 2020 when a few people were let go due to the pandemic downturn. Currently I'm making more money than I ever have and our company switched to an “unlimited” vacation allotment, although within reason. We work from home (since 2020) except for one day a week.
Despite this, I'm miserable. I've wanted to quit basically since I started, but I have no ambition. I'm not anti-work, but I feel that something is wrong with me personally at the moment. My concentration is bad, I'm a procrastinator, and I feel out of place on this management team and suspect that my manager and co-workers are realizing this (actually, I suspect they view me as a legacy employee considering that I'm the most senior in the whole company, someone who can do enough but isn't spectacular). I also deal with social anxiety and OCD that keep me tucked inside the comfortable.
I would really like to get a lower-level job, something that doesn't require so many things to pay attention to, and try to have more work structure and leave work at the office. I had a job I was looking at for several years, but currently it seems like it might all be filled. Plus, it might pay about half what I currently make which would be an issue because this year I rented my first house which means my monthly expenses are at least $600 more than they had been. I agonized over whether I could afford the rent given that I wanted to quit. But I've stayed.
I don't feel I'm qualified for much more than this place and have no idea what I should do. I'd like to take a leave or quit and be jobless for a few months. If I were back in my $580/month efficiency apartment, I might do that, but I've set myself up in a bad spot by renting this $995/month house.
Anyway, just venting.