Two years ago I noticed my productivity plummeting at work so with the pandemic starting I took that as a sign I should try doing something for myself. I told people I was making a video game as that's easier to explain, but really I was going to use the time to explore all sorts of things while I'm still in my 20s, and if a game comes out of it, great but not required.
Before I was a reserved nerd who only excelled at math and science. Now I can also draw, 3D model, texture paint, sculpt, animate and rig, design characters, write stories, and produce music. To various degrees of experience of course, but the knowledge is there. And no longer reserved either due to acting and improv, both of which particularly the latter also help with managing groups of people, interpersonal dynamics, and presenting.
With these I'm very confident that I could lead a group of talented people to create something great be it software, a game, or an animated film. But you know all that employers see? They see a gap year. Doesn't matter if I'm exponentially better than I would have been. No way time not spent working could be productive right? At least in these people's minds.
Like one job was looking for devs in a not so popular language and framework, which I nearly exclusively worked in at my last job, but the hiring manager was concerned that it's been too long. Are you fucking serious? It's a language and a framework I could get up and running in a week or two even if it wasn't something I already have several years experience with. Are they worried I'm not a worker bee and might move on once I'm flush with cash again? Well I'm done working solo, it's not worth it. I'd rather be working with a team of talented people. Not to mention that productivity decline from before turned out to be undiagnosed adhd, now I'm more productive than ever.
Sorry for talking myself up I'm just so frustrated. Maybe I'll tutor people to make ends meet in the meantime. Thanks for listening to my vent.