She woke up and I went to sit with her and help her take a bath. She fell back asleep and I came back after a couple hours and found that my post had blown up. I'm honestly surprised it got as much attention as it did and I tried to sift through it and answer as many people as i could but with all those comments it was overwhelming, so here's my update as well as my answer to a few commonly asked questions that I noticed while skimming:
– I don't think it's worth unemployment to make them fire me. It just isn't worth the struggle right now when I have savings to live off of for the time being and a plan for financial security moving forward. I'd rather be at her bedside than at the unemployment office or out applying to jobs to fit the unemployment applicant quota right now.
-FMLA doesn't apply to my situation because the veterinary office I work for has less than 30 employees.
-When I took my leave of absence, I told my boss that her doctor said she'd probably pass away within the month. It's been right under 3 weeks. I would have better understanding if he was texting me in the 5th week and asking for updates, but he started at the end of the second week texting me at least once and usually twice a day.
-They are not short-handed right now. The boss is mad because his son, who usually goofs off in the office and does social media stuff all day, is complaining that he's being sent out to assist with animal care. They are not losing business because I'm out. The son just isn't getting to do what he wants to do.
-I posted on Reddit because maybe you don't know this but when a person is dying, friends and family tend to move away. I think it's uncomfortable for most. I don't really have the support group of our friends right now. They're all keeping their distance and most days it's just me and her and her mother here at the house. Her mother is beside herself in grief and I am certainly not going to discuss these issues with my dying girlfriend, so I came here- a subreddit with people from all over the world to vent my frustration in the hopes someone else would be able to understand. I am certainly not “karma farming.” I don't give on a single flying *uck about Reddit karma. I am simply reaching out to strangers because it's the best option I have in the moment. I expected maybe 10 responses. I'm as shocked as you by the overwhelming attention the post got. Why no screenshots? Because rule 9 of this sub clearly states not to post screenshots and rule 8 says no personal information. Also because I don't need to prove anything to anyone. Believe me or don't. I am not looking for your approval. That's why.
-Finally, to the troll who chat requested me to call my girlfriend vulgar names and say you're glad she's dying, I'm sorry. I'm sincerely sorry for whatever has gone wrong in your life.
Now, the UPDATE:
He texted me again and asked “How's she doing? Is she still up moving around? I'm curious how long you think you're going to be gone.”
I started to text back but I was annoyed and angry and decided instead to simply call him. So I did and I asked what the hurry was and reminded him that when I left 3 weeks ago, he was told it could be a month or so. He repeated his experience with his grandmother and said that his wife's sister is a nurse and they just can't believe how long it's taking.
I told him I was quitting effective immediately and to stop texting me and that every day I wake up hoping for another day with her and if she dies tonight and I'm able to return to work next week, I would still never come back and work for anyone that woke up every morning wishing away the time I am begging God for.
All he said was “You should have just quit three weeks ago then instead of wasting MY time.”
I am fine with my decision to quit. I will be fine financially and I appreciate all the advice and help.
Also please do not DM me any more miracle cures or things you did that saved your life or loved one from cancer. She made the decision six months ago after spending over half her life fighting this disease that she's ready to go. Even if I believed in any of the miracle cures, I'd never disrespect her by asking her to keep fighting. This is the choice she's made.