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Antiwork

[vent] wish i didn’t feel insane for not wanting to work OT

this is going to be a vent ramble. I really just want to just feel validated as i'm already suffering mentally from the about-to-be-listed reasons. so pls dont rag on me lol. also changing a few deets to protect myself, but i will use direct analogies and math ratios. background- i work somewhere in the US that requires you to essentially work in 2- 3 hour shifts, 2- 3 times a day. depends on the person. when i started, I worked 3 shifts of 2.5- 3 hours every day, except wednesday's i'd work 2 3 hour shifts. the average person works 3 -4 days at 9 hours or less, and then one day at 6 hours or less. some less. some more. Salaried people work differently and don't follow the 3 hour shifts rule, they usually work 8-4 or 9-5, leaving early or late some days. i'm not salaried yet…


this is going to be a vent ramble. I really just want to just feel validated as i'm already suffering mentally from the about-to-be-listed reasons. so pls dont rag on me lol. also changing a few deets to protect myself, but i will use direct analogies and math ratios.

background- i work somewhere in the US that requires you to essentially work in 2- 3 hour shifts, 2- 3 times a day. depends on the person. when i started, I worked 3 shifts of 2.5- 3 hours every day, except wednesday's i'd work 2 3 hour shifts. the average person works 3 -4 days at 9 hours or less, and then one day at 6 hours or less. some less. some more. Salaried people work differently and don't follow the 3 hour shifts rule, they usually work 8-4 or 9-5, leaving early or late some days. i'm not salaried yet but i've been approached many times about having the opportunity as soon as positions open up (all my competitors have slowly burned out or quit), but the issue is i'm definitely making myself too valuable to ever be promoted as i worked 45 hrs a week of the “dirty work” so to speak. constant 100% focus required, huge responsibilites, etc.

Another fun facet of this job is no breaks. not really. technically you're allowed to ask for an unpaid lunch break but nobody ever has, and it causes a huge inconvenience for the management as they dont want to have to deal with it. kinda a “yeah we dont really do that here” thing. the salaried people get paid to exist so they take breaks whenever they want.

So since june of last year i have been working 9 hour shifts 5 days a week. the boss asked me if i would tolerate working OT. i thought, hey, good chance to make money. if i hate it i can drop out of it and go back to my usual schedule [which at the time was 1 morning off with 1 other shift sometimes being dropped a week] and say i gave it a shot. So i did. the extra money was.. eh. maybe 200$ a month more. which sounds like a lot but my boyfriend and i live rather comfortably on our income beforehand- not rich, just able to save and afford basic necessities. which in the US right now, basically is rich i guess.. anyway. not an impactful enough amount for me to be killing myself slowly over, which i was.

so i tried working OT. did it until this month. started hating it and feeling burned out. I never got to cook meals anymore. never got to do any chores, errands, appointments. if i see a doctor i have to have a huge hassle at work to cover my appointments and such. forget car repairs. 8:30-6:30 5 days a week for over half a year. never get to see the sun. go outside. do anything during the week. Have to watch all the salaried people get there later than me every day and leave earlier every day. and hear them complain about how hard work is while they sit in offices or monitor people's work most of the day. not to say their work isnt mentally taxing. it absolutely is. but not slightly physical like mine, they get breaks whenever they want, dont have to restrict bodily functions until there's a convenient moment etc.

it became the new norm, so when I approached multiple higher-ups (who all love me and have told me directly jokes like how they would do things like sell their organs to keep me happy) talking about taking a shift or two off a week they all kinda were surprisingly normal about it. seemed to understand, outwardly anyway. the office definitely has smack talk culture so im paranoid about that. they seemed to understand its a mental health thing and have told ME anyway that it doesnt affect my chances of getting the promotion. who knows if they're lying.

last week was my first week with my new schedule. essentially i went from 45-46 hrs a week to 38-39 hours a week (because of how the rules of 3 hour shifts works. again, most hourly people work 35-39 hour weeks. nobody gets exactly 40, and “full time” is considered for insurance and such as anyone working over 32 hours a week.) . on a personal level i was very happy with it. having time to cook meals was amazing, unwind after work without immediately jumping into chores or rushing errands or things two days out of the week was amazing.

but now im paranoid because of how normal everyone is about it. Everyone at work has been too nice. Nobody has come to me about it but yet all the higherups [people i didnt talk to about it and who arent affected by my changes] know and mention they knew when i bring it up to them. it's almost like they're all talking about it and tell each other not to tell me anything about what they really think. yes im being paranoid. but i've heard how they talk about regular employees for things like missing shifts or requesting changes. It's making me feel like i'm crazy for wanting to work a regular amount of hours. my brain is still in the “this is literally too good to be true” phase of being able to work a little less and enjoy life more. I feel like there's a huge catch coming. I know i'm way too valuable rn to be fired [retention rate is abysmal and i'm one of the only people at my skill level staying for the foreseeable future] but i'm still scared of some kind of repercussion or ill treatment for it.

anyway, just needed to rant about it. I hate that working less in america is seen as this weird alien thing. like wanting to reduce hours is a mental illness. like wanting to live and cook and see the sun a few days a week is psychotic.

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