I used to think I’d be super successful in high school; was best of my year etc.
Then I studied and worked as much as I needed to survive. I kind of enjoyed that life, I had enough for rent and food and some small beauty things and clothes.
Then I worked full-time until losing my job, not only that but my boss was a scary volatile dude, and I don’t mix well with those. I usually withdraw emotionally, and my boss would use scare tactics, standing right behind me, but also ask in this innocent tone if I’m “happy”, which, what? At the same time I dated an abuser so this was… coming home to the same kind of person sadly.
I eventually lost the job because they wanted someone with 5+ years of experience (they said the opposite when hiring me).
My abusive ex offered me to work with him. I hesitated a bit because he was.. abusive, and instead thought about waitressing. But that all kind of changed when he was violent and I basically gave up.
Now I’m in a new job, have barely anything to do most days even though I do ask for work over and over which? I’m also on probation and just find it strange since another trainee is totally overwhelmed (sadly other department so I can’t help her).
I’m thinking about.. moving to a small student town soon, no career advancements there but maybe I could get a small job there? And just get by? I don’t know.
I just want to be somewhere where angry people aren’t, and I don’t see myself as a career woman anymore.