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Antiwork

Whenever management starts throwing these mba-isms around, it’s time to flee…

raise the bar think outside the box self-empowerment (HR/Payroll has been eliminated) pick the low-hanging fruit always have a “bias for action” it's a paradigm shift the tiger team core competencies (we don't pay you for your personality) incentivize (we've cut back working to only 7 days per week. happy now?) hopefully, you'll still have enough “bandwidth”. we have corporate values take it offline put it in the parking lot stakeholders (those whose bonuses are affected) drill down, deep dive go viral a win-win situation push the envelope the view from 30,000 feet be proactive (keep your crystal ball handy) the radar screen – the thing is on it or not on it – choose one value-added there is no “I” in team employee engagement (be glad you're only working 12 hrs a day) transparency (you can't see what we're hiding) diversity and inclusion (our legal division says so) transformational…


raise the bar

think outside the box

self-empowerment (HR/Payroll has been eliminated)

pick the low-hanging fruit

always have a “bias for action”

it's a paradigm shift

the tiger team

core competencies (we don't pay you for your personality)

incentivize (we've cut back working to only 7 days per week. happy now?)

hopefully, you'll still have enough “bandwidth”.

we have corporate values

take it offline

put it in the parking lot

stakeholders (those whose bonuses are affected)

drill down, deep dive

go viral

a win-win situation

push the envelope

the view from 30,000 feet

be proactive (keep your crystal ball handy)

the radar screen – the thing is on it or not on it – choose one

value-added

there is no “I” in team

employee engagement (be glad you're only working 12 hrs a day)

transparency (you can't see what we're hiding)

diversity and inclusion (our legal division says so)

transformational change (redundancy at its best)

outreach (we have lots of contractors)

disrupt, corporate synergy

once you've “ideated”, you've got to “unpack” them.

future forward (thankfully, neither is behind us)

game changer (we're changing channels?)

you've just been “decruited”

seamless integration

informativity & agreeance & recontextualize (what?)

EEE sensation (“easy, effortless and enjoyable”)

MEGO (“My eyes glazed over”)

Golden retriever (“paying an exec enough to return”)

Psychic income (the satisfaction derived from your job – a substitute for money)

Thought Leader (an exec who is also a self-proclaimed expert)

effectuate (what?)

demand saturation!

headcount rationalization (you're being laid off)

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