I work in IT, have been with the company im with for almost 4 years. Started off in their intern program and got hired on fulltime. When I started everything was great, my supervisor seemed like someone I could turn to for support and mentorship, encouraged me to continue learning etc. We got close, not to the point where I told them my life story but where I had started feeling comfortable confiding in them etc.
Supervisor isn't as technical as they led me to believe and I started to out perform them and have to FIX their mistakes. (I also have a technical BS in Cyber Security which is a huge hole on the IT roaster) Things were great until after my one year review. I started to notice the Supervisor getting short with me, becoming less willing to help in areas of the business unfamiliar to me, i got met with a lot of “figure it out” statements. Whatever, Im pretty independent and don't need much direction. (Except when starting new projects/tasks etc)
There have been several moments of unprofessional behavior on the sup's part (e.g gossiping to staff about other staff, making contradictory statements, passive agressive behavior and comments et ) after about a year and half of doing the work of 3 people (with no thank you, or we appreciate you, or RAISE) I told my supervisor “I'm burnt, I can't keep working unpaid OT and keep being treated like my life outside this place doesn't matter. I had an anxiety attack from the stress and constant lack of sleep. (I suffer insomnia FYI) She made it out to seem like change would happen better delegation of tasks etc. I was a sucker, should have known! Especially when COVID hit. It sucked because we werent prepared for a pandemic ( like most) didnt have enough equipment to send every one home with, supply chain issues, high stress, low morale etc. Our company had tons of layoffs, IT wasnt affected luckily.
Fast forward to 2021, pandemic has started to improve, we are pulled back go office but offered hybrid schedule. Max 3 days remote. That works well for me, I need the coupe days in office to do hardware etc. The days im remote I work on assigned projects (for less interruption) Supervisor pulls me aside and pretty much promises me a promotion. Sets up a meeting with the VP of our dept etc and says ” hey I appreciate all your hard work and you've been a great asset to the team etc. I'd like to reward you with a Jr. Sys admin/security position. By thid point I had been the one implementing different security measures and working closely with our Sys admin. Got crossed trained in networking/VM'S etc.
Sup fair warns me VP will want to see me complete a project before promotion is finalized. Just to make sure I can handle the responsibilities. (Which is dumb AF as I'd already been doing that) mind you Sup led me on to believe all was hunky dory.
Fast forward to meeting with Sup and VP of the dept. I get blindsided by the SUPERVISOR in the meeting. Completely throws me under the bus for things that were outside my control, says im not meeting their stamdards, basically questions my integrity and work efforts. They completely did a 180 and embarrassed me in front of the VP. Then when I questioned Sup and said “if you were so concerned with my performance why didn't you attempt to address this with me? 1v1”. VP agreed and was shocked that hadn't happened. I asked Sup for specific examplea of the so called standard's and challenged every BS claim they made. Stating that I cannot possibly know what you expect of me if you dont effectively communicate with me. Sup got super defensive. At that point I didnt care, they had already ran my name through the mud and embarrassed me.
I asked that since these “standards” were holding me back. To give me the opportunity to prove otherwise and get in writing the “things” I need to improve upon. I'm not perfect by any means, nor do i claim it. But when everyone singa your praises to your boss and they then turn around and betray that trust it makes you question a LOT. To say I was upset was an understatement. I promptly left after this BS meeting/review. (My shift was over) things werent the same after that. This was a pivotal moment in which I knew my Supervisor didnt have my best interest at heart and didnt give a flying eff about me or anyone but themself.
This happened on a Friday, after calming down I sent an email that I wanted to discuss what had happened in that meeting. I made it clear I felt blindsided and lied to and didn't appreciate the lack of professional curtosey in my “under performance” that was about as useless as their so called milestone plan they promised. (Never happened!) I was on the brink of quitting. I got to the point where I know longer gave a rats butt. Stopped working late, stopped confiding in Sup, pretty much only engaged with them when necessary. Things went into limbo.
Fast forward to Monday after s**t storm meeting, the supervisor got promoted to MANAGER. I lost it all over again. I realized what had really happened. I got thrown under the bus so they could move forward. I immediately started interviewing for other positions. The disrespect and blatent disregard for employees well being became more apparent. The supervisor's promo to manager was the hot gossip of the office. Many other managers questioning the choice… former Sup now manger became public enemy number one. Started to lash out at staff in front of other depts, really making themself fall into everything gossip was saying.
I kept my mouth shut, head down, did what was asked no more no less and went home. I had confided about the situation with a few trusted individuals who all begged me to get the eff outta dodge. One issue with that, interviews that I lined up went nowhere.
I suffered through it, we finally got additional techs, who quickly saw the poor behavior of the now manager and pointed it out. I was voluntold to train the newbies on top of my already unmanageable work load. Oh joy! Mgr continued to show their butt to everyone.
Fast forward to late 2021, I had a family emergency, my younger sibling had to have a very invasive procedure. Boss was cold but allowed me to do what was needed to get younger sibling intervention. Before my rather quick leave mgr had screamed at us for our drowning queues and long to do list in front of multiple depts( again). I mentioned that they had come off a bit harsh and it was a bad look to do that so publicly. Basically mentioning it looked really bad and everyone was walking on egg shells as not to set the MGR off.
Oh boy did I eff up, I became the personal punching bag of MGR. Blamed for everything, vilified etc. Told people we're complaining about me. (Bold faced lie, literally told me the week before all the higher ups were saying what a great job I do and that mgr is lucky to have me etc) so I let it go in one ear and out the other. Mind you I was still struggling with the famoly emergency. Mgr snapped at me and I snapped back.
I shouldn't have and just let MGR look crazy per usual but i just couldnt bite my tongue with the mental abuse and verbal abuse anymore. ( Also HR is useless and the main HR person hates me because I stuck up for myself in a past situation) I stepped away after the conflict to get it together for my ownsake and continuing training the other techs. They all knew something was up, I get quiet when sad or upset, stopped cracking jokes etc. Everyone was genuinely concerned about my mental health EXCEPT mgr.
Before I left mgr made it a point to pull me aside, took me into a conference room and screamed at me. Threatened to write me up, said they went to HR and said I was being insubordinate etc. Didnt let me talk (has a bad habit of talking over others, this happens daily), told me I was disrespecting them etc. Essentially projecting their own insecurities on me as normal. Called me unprofessional and told me to get out.
Everything they had accused me of was how MGR was behaving. Come to find out MGR had personal issues at home. Which does NOT excuse this behavior! Mentioned me reporting them to HR if we couldnt figure our differences out. Now I'm not the one with the problem its MGR. I promptly said bye and left.
We got a new sup and things have been better however my relationship with (still MGR) has been completely minimized to being civil. No more, no less. I've lost all my love for this job, dont confide in them. Don't talk about my personal life, have pretty much distanced myself as much as possible. Knowing that going to HR woupd only get me wrongfully terminated.
Present: new Sup is great, but I'm burnt out. Hate going to work, avoid MGR as much as possible and put up with constant disrespect from a GREEN tech. (Aka first IT job, doesnt have a degree and always argues with me on eatablished and working procedures) this new tech is the golden child and only acts this way with me, I have seniority. I was trained by MGR. I no longer care or have any sympathy for the whining about work load. Have become jaded etc and shrug and says boo freaking hoo when said golden child makes a stink about fairness and stupid crap.
Thank you for those that may read my rant. My question is at this point what do I do? How do I get through my continuing Ed and find another way out? I have spoken with the new Sup about golden child. They addressed with MGR who I have lost all respect for. I dont expect any change knowing the MGR is full of empty promises. They still try to gass me up and pretend like there is room for growth. When i know there isnt.
How do I survive until I can secure another job?! How do I recover from such a terrible burnout. This job has turned me off from even wanting to pursue IT any further.
Tldr: burnt out, No faith in MGmt, no room for growth. Stuck in dead end job. How do I salvage all the hard work I've put in?