To start, this is somewhat of a rant and I’m not sure if this belongs in this sub. I’m not “anti-work” per se, and i don’t share all of the opinions expressed on here. I DO however want to have fulfilling work-life balance where i am able to work hard, and enjoy my family at the same time. For context: i am a military officer with a wife and kids. I have been blessed in many ways with my job, but depending on what my current billet is, the time expectations can be a bit…. Absurd.
I am repeatedly told how much the military and commanders value “families” and life balance. But when i look into the lives of all of the senior officers and other “higher-ups” they LIVE for their job. It’s like nothing in their life matters except career enhancement. Explicit and implicit social pressure is immense to work 12+ hours a day. I’ve seen my commander privately disparage a trooper who was leaving the military because he wanted to spend more time with his family. The commanders response was a haughty laugh while basically saying “back in my day it was harder” speech….my only thought was “so a guy doesn’t want to be gone during his kids childhood and he wants to have a balanced life and that makes him weak?”
I don’t want that life. The higher you climb the more absurd the expectations are. Why is the office culture to talk shit to the guy going home at 5pm to spend time with his family? I’ve seen guys waste so much time throughout the day, only to stay late because it looks good, when they aren’t really doing anything productive. Or when i first met my operations officer and he started his introduction with why i had taken leave before i checked into the unit…. I had to explain i went to see extended family, to which he replied he hadn’t seen his in years and implied i shouldn’t have taken the time off…..wtf?
There are good elements to my job, but I’m increasingly unable to stand what can only be described as a toxic office culture. It’s very clear all the colonels and Generals sold their souls years ago, and genuinely can’t understand someone who doesn’t want to. I can’t tell you how many senior officials I’ve heard say they missed YEARS of their kids lives, and they are seemingly ok with it. I’ve got stories for days of guys who have sacrificed everything on the altar of ego and position. My problem is those guys think everyone else should be like them. No thanks, I’ll stick to seeing my kids grow up. End rant.
Is there anyone else in the military whose seen the same thing?