I (21f) work at a gift shop in western Canada, and before that I worked at a hardware store. I've only ever worked minimum wage. I find that work makes me feel bad about myself. I'm the lowest ranking employee, and at both jobs the owners liked to micromanage. I feel like I'm always getting critiqued, which is hard some days, as I feel I do a good job and then I have to change lots of things (displays, how I go about dealing with customers). Shit will get stolen and I get told that I'm not watching enough, which is hard because I'm the only one watching on the main floor of the shop, and I have a list of things to get done as well. I always go home thinking to myself “not good enough. Do better. Try again.”
I just feel sad. I'm wanting to go to college, so I can someday work for myself. I don't mind being told what to do, but I'm exhausted from never being good enough in the workplace. I have to watch everything I do, my gift wrapping is inefficient, the way I go about my routine is wrong (which I didn't think was an issue as long as things get completed). Am I the only one? I feel so alone. I don't have any other friends or family in retail, and I feel like I'm just being dramatic. I've been dealing with a bladder infection recently, and the past few days I've been okay to go to work, but it was really bad today, so I called in sick. I've been dealing with a lot of health issues, which is caused me to call in sick a few times these past few months, so I feel like shit, like a bad employee. I don't want to be that employee that always calls in sick for every little thing, but I really haven't been feeling well. I always feel as if my boss is a little upset with me for calling in sick, and I hate that a job is making me feel like crap, especially one that I'm only getting paid $15 an hour. Why do I feel so guilty? Any clarity would be helpful, as I feel dejected and like a pain in the ass.