Throwaway account, my apologies but I don't want my IRL friends or family finding this. I will try to keep it simple.
Work makes me want to die. I have family and coworkers who have died, been seriously hurt or disabled (physically and mentally), or otherwise have been prevented from pursuing a meaningful, active life in retirement. 50 years of their life wasted in a job and office they didn't care about for a retirement they never had a chance to enjoy.
What's the point of spending the healthiest and best 52 years of my life (I started working at 15) working? Spending 8 hours a day and all my energy barely making enough to afford rising costs of living, all on the off chance that I'm healthy and lucky enough to make it to a good retirement.
Life is special. I've had a “real job” doing physical labor in a very romanticized industry and “normal jobs” in offices making good money. I have a college degree and a good relationship, life, apartment. But it seems fucking pointless to live one more day knowing that I will spend a majority of my energy and time working, and that retirement–if my generation even can–is far off and I will likely be disabled or on chronic pain by then.
I just don't want to work. It's not a sympathetic desire. I think I'm broken and I don't think most people should want to share my feelings. If I could quit and not be a mooch on anyone I would do so immediately.
I've considered working part time until 70, just enough to meet my expenses and but save for retirement, and then just killing myself to avoid having to work a shit job as an elder. I wouldn't ever tell a soul about my feelings or this plan.
Sorry to rant. But fuck me if this is the rest of my life. “Real” jobs are dangerous and draining. Office jobs are degrading and bullshit. I can't stand a life of this on the faint promise of a good few years of retirement.