I (28F) just started a temp position at our local city hall. The job is super chill and everyone likes me. I am temp now through a temp agency, but my coworkers are very keen on possibly asking the boss and HR if I can be hired full-time by the city so that I can stay and help them since they are very short-handed. It’s not as much money as I’d like to be making, but I am very content with that being the starting wage at least. I struggle with severe mental health issues (per my last post on this sub, I did a week long stint in a mental hospital around a month and a half ago), and this job actually seems like something I can do well without sacrificing the well-being of my mental health. My wife and I could also really use the money right now, while she keeps trying to get a promotion at her job.
The only real problem I have here so far is a potentially toxic older woman that I share my work area with. I work in the lobby of the office at the front desk area, and the older woman work in an open cubicle thing that is in the lobby. From my understanding, and without getting too specific, she is basically a rep for another part of the city entirely. We work with their department, but they are their own entity outside of city hall (why she works in this building and not where her other coworkers work, which is a completely different building about a block or two away, I’m not sure)
Not only is this woman a MASSIVE gossip, but she is constantly talking about non-work appropriate topics with clients. She seems to usually know the clients that come to see her, so I understand feeling comfortable enough to speak freely with them, but the topics she chooses to talk about are all usually about some local rumor or drama that is being spread around, or about politics.
And of course, it’s typical conservative boomer type of stuff. She’s a walking stereotype, so it’s almost funny if the stuff she was saying wasn’t so wrong and hateful. I don’t mind that she holds these views in her private life, but I just do not think it is appropriate to bring to work. She also has made passing remarks about all kinds of people who will come into the office. She will get on her phone and start making personal phone calls where she will make all kinds of “-phobic” comments about people she has met that day, especially ageist comments about young people and racist/xenophobic comments about POC.
My fear is that after all the stuff I’ve heard her spout, that she will be potentially hostile towards me if she finds out that a.) I’m bisexual, b.) I’m married to another woman, and c). My wife is transgender
In her eyes, we’re basically blasphemous sinners. I really want to believe that she wouldn’t care and that she would still like me and treat me the same, but I know that’s probably not realistic. She VERY much comes off as a hateful and bitter woman that would absolutely try to spread rumors about me, just bc I’m queer and the woman I love is trans. She 100% has the potential to make this job hell for me. We also live in a VERY red area of the US, and everybody seems to knows everybody, so additionally, I am anxious about the possibility of this affecting my wife and I outside of work.
I don’t want this to happen at all, and I could make this all stop before it even becomes a problem. I have a choice to call the temp agency and end my assignment here due to a toxic work environment that I don’t think would be good for me. I don’t want to leave my other coworkers hanging in the situation that they are in, but I also value my relationship with my wife and my mental health. My wife wants me to stay as long as I can unless the older woman becomes actively hostile, mainly due to the fact that we need the money. Another option I have is to speak with HR, who have so far proven themselves to be very cool and nice to me, and see if another arrangement can be made to make me less uncomfortable.
Am I being too paranoid and anxious? Would I be an asshole (to my actually nice coworkers and my wife) for making a big deal out of this and possibly screwing up this potential opportunity? Is it worth it to worry about this?