Before I vent, if this post goes against community guidelines I understand if the admins remove it. I'm just exhausted at this point and tired of dealing with this junk and needed to vent. I spent 2020-22 working as a glorified intern via the AmeriCrops program, which operates in 1 year terms. It provided some good work experience in the non-profit world where I got to actually help other people in my community deal with and overcome their own personal poverty situations (yes I know poverty is a systemic issue, however, in this organization I worked through we were taking an individualized approach because I live in the South). Anyway, I did a second term in this program because the job market in 2021 was crap and so I decided to wait it out another year and keep the job I was doing. It didn't pay much but it was something and I enjoyed the work and the people I was working with. However I did start to look for something new in August of last year to give me about 6 months to find something so I could start directly once I finished my service term. Well, fast forward to September 2022 and all I have to show for it is a scam where I was promised work but ended up having around $5,000 stolen from me, a start-up where I worked as a freelancer and the owner of the company was an idiot who didn't get any funding and refused to pay all 30 of us freelancers, and then a decent job I liked that proceeded to fire me a month and a half later for my nerodivergant traits. That last instance I specifically didn't say anything about my disabilities for fear of discrimination. Ended up getting discriminated against anyway. So here I am. It's just been one thing after another this year.
At this point I just want a stable job so I can afford a stable life so I can deal with my own issues and then help others and write. And oh, did I mention that my state's unemployment refused to help me because I didn't earn enough money? I think I failed to mention that little detail.
It's just been a crappy situation. I'm at a loss for what to do at this point because it just feels like no matter how hard I try or whether or not I put my best foot forward I end up failing in this area. Honestly, I would work in service again, but based on how horribly that went last time and the panic attacks I get from just thinking about going into a store or restaurant as a worker and how easily overstimulated I get, it's basically a closed off solution for the most part. It also does help that due to my disabilities when I encounter a stressful situation I tend to shut down completely for several hours or days because that's the only way my brain and body can deal with the situation.
Anyway, like I said, if I ended up violating any community rules, I totally understand if the admins and moderators have to remove this post. I'm just trying to vent and this felt like a good place to do so given the situation. Please no one get mad or anything . I'm just mentally and emotionally exhausted from this whole situation.