Kind of venting, kind of wondering what y'all think. I've worked 8 years in the same field, about to get a raise to $19/hr. My work is easy, no customers, no boss, just myself in my own office (alas I can't work from home). I'm guaranteed 10 paid vacation days, 10 paid sick days, 1 paid personal day, and at least $1 raise/year and that's all because I'm in a union. All things considered, I'm glad I've got this type of job after years in retail + growing up in poverty.
My only complaints are:
•My inattentive manager (it's impossible to get in touch with her most of the time or she says “I'll get back to you!” ..and never does). I've met her ONCE.
•Nobody knows who I should get dental/vision from, the company I work for and the union point fingers at each other and this has resulted in my going 2 years without dental or vision (I've called, angry emailed, hell I even faxed requests for this shit and I get radio silence). I feel like I'm shouting into a void at this point.
•My coworkers are shallow, privileged-from-birth, overpaid dickwads. It's hard to work around them. I'm always afraid they'll decide they don't like me anymore and get me fired somehow (they are the backstabby-type so I'm always creating a paper trail of proof for stuff to cover my ass).
•Commute and working 6 days/week. Office is an hour away so I'm gone for 10hrs, then I have 3hrs between getting home and bedtime (usually spent on chores, cooking, showering etc). I feel like I barely see my partner or home. I fucking hate the feeling of walking into work feeling like I never left.
•I'm terrified of ever getting fired because honestly I landed this job by chance. I don't have a college education, I don't have certifications..I'm technically “unskilled” so my options are bleak af if I ever had to leave this place. I've tried going to college twice, I just can't do it. I don't know how to make myself more “skilled” and therefore more “valuable”. There's not enough time in the day.
•My pay doesn't seem to be stretching far enough. With everything going up in price + a huge amount of medical debt, it's been hard making ends meet. I have a disabled partner who brings in little cheques once a month which is great but still not enough. Most of the time I break even between bills and income.
Idk I feel like I should be grateful for what I have, and I am, especially with others working in worse-off conditions for peanuts. It just feels like no matter the little gains, I'm stuck barely scraping by. I don't have any “marketable” talents and no time to pursue one or a side hustle. I've sold everything of value we had already. I feel nauseated every time a bill is a few dollars more than I estimated. Sometimes I overeat because I don't know when my next meal will be. I can't sleep because I'm always afraid I'll lose the little progress I've made.