I work as a school photographer. My company is contracted out by local schools for their picture days and yearbook editing. Despite the traveling necessitated by the job, waking up early to get there when school opens, and lugging around heavy equipment every day, I love what I do. I love meeting the kids and capturing their personalities to be preserved forever in their schools' histories. And I make pretty okay money doing it. We get paid for drive time and reimbursed for gas mileage and then some.
But… I still hate working. I hate needing to justify my existence by how much I can contribute to a company's bottom line. I hate that I need to grind myself down just to get by day to day. Despite loving what I do, I dread waking up knowing I'm going to spend my day at work. I'd rather spend the day pursuing my hobbies and building skills that interest me. You know, having fun. My mom always says that “everyone would rather have fun, but that's not how the world works.” And yeah, I know that.
tbh I don't know what I want. I suppose I want a world where money isn't a necessity, and I can live at my own pace. And I don't know what to do about these conflicting interests.