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Antiwork

Extending COVID-positivity to get my check

Alright I'm not entirely sure whether or not this fits here but this is a fun little predicament I found myself in. So for insight, I work a 100% commission job that I just started about 3 weeks ago. I'm only really there cus the Indeed posting was misleading; regardless, I thought I'd stay and make some money before I quit. The “office culture” has a hamfisted message about showing up every day for the grind (which is 9-hour days, 5.5 days a week, and knocking on doors for 5-6 hours straight) even through tough circumstances, because “what you put in is what you get out”. To the point they've fired people who were absent for just a day or two, people who need time off to work on things like their abusive relationship, and even people who just have other things to do with their life that have a…


Alright I'm not entirely sure whether or not this fits here but this is a fun little predicament I found myself in.

So for insight, I work a 100% commission job that I just started about 3 weeks ago. I'm only really there cus the Indeed posting was misleading; regardless, I thought I'd stay and make some money before I quit. The “office culture” has a hamfisted message about showing up every day for the grind (which is 9-hour days, 5.5 days a week, and knocking on doors for 5-6 hours straight) even through tough circumstances, because “what you put in is what you get out”. To the point they've fired people who were absent for just a day or two, people who need time off to work on things like their abusive relationship, and even people who just have other things to do with their life that have a slightly higher priority.

But here's my scenario: I got COVID on Wednesday, and immediately let my team leader know. She was fine with it, and I'm actually still with my job as I'm typing this. However, I was originally planning on quitting tomorrow.

Why wait until tomorrow? I got a lead a few weeks ago that was supposed to close today, but they just rescheduled it to Wednesday. Because of the way the pay hierarchy works, quitting before your lead closes means that your portion gets split between the closer and the manager. And it's gonna be a pretty big commission too, so there's no way I'm risking it.

But last night I realized something: I could stay out of the office until that lead closes by extending my COVID-positivity. How? Simple: Just don't sleep adequately. If I don't recover, my results will keep showing up positive. So I reckoned I'll get little sleep until Thursday, thus extending my COVID-positivity until after my lead closes, and then quit.

I just can't believe this is the measure I'm willing to go to just to get my money without having to suffer another day at that awful job.

TL;DR: I'm not letting my body recover from COVID so I remain positive just long enough for my lead to close before I quit, all to avoid working another wretched day there

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