Mother (narcissist and borderline personality disorder) required me to pay room and board. For every dollar I earned fifty cents went to room and board, twenty-five cents was “saved” for my school needs. I was 12 and working full time taking care of disabled kids and old people in their homes. It continued even when school started.
I was taught the bootstrap mentality.
When I was 21 I finally “took” 5 months off of work. Then mother decided I was interfering with her bonding with my newborn son. Back to work I went.
I put myself through school while working full time.
I was 12 doing 80+ hours per week between school and work. I never stopped.
I injured every bit of my body while working. I had gone from under the table home care to working on old folks homes. I went from no licensure to certificate to fill licensure. I worked twenty-four hours straight.
I thought I was being a team player by ignoring my many injuries. Workman's comp said I was fine even though I was in severe pain so who was I to argue?
In 2004 I asked my hmo to do an mri of my knee. The doctor said, “OK I can do that but then we'll need to do surgery and who will support your family?”
In 2006 I did have surgery only to learn the damage was significant and I now needed a new knee probably both.
In 2007 my hmo flat refused to do the surgery. I was told to take opioids instead.
In 2017 I found doctors who agreed to do surgery. By then however the damaged knees had taken their toll on my already injured body.
I haven't been able to work since 2017.
Those jobs I was a team player for? Where are they? Weren't we a team? Family?
Your job is not worth your health your job is not an identity, way of life nor family.
Get a hobby. I finally did in 2020. Hobbies are frigging amazing and not a waste of time. They bring joy into our world.
Unionize. Take that vacation. Use sick days to take you and your family on dates.
We deserve to live. We deserve hobbies. We deserve happiness.
I want to go back to nursing. I'm working hard to make that happen. This time though I'm not family, tan or anything else. I'm a nurse who will only work two days a week. If they don't like it they can duck off. I'm done. I'm 52 now and just figured out work is not worth it.