There’s such a huge cognitive dissonance in knowing that capitalism is a shit show and that my life has value regardless of my job or performance but still having that extreme cortisol spike and panic attacks when a mistake is made or a client is pissed. I know I could get another job and but I’ve never stayed for more than two years and doubt I could find something else remote. I am talking with a therapist and work as a remote CS rep for a growing company. Small family owned business that has exploded to a corporation around two years ago and growing.
My direct manager has been very forgiving but i constantly get shit on by our clients due to our turn around times/decreased quality without any efficient way to escalate, communication with production is ass so things get missed very frequently, and there’s a huge disconnect between what the upper management promises and what we can deliver. I don’t mind training or educating over the phone and sometimes it’s rewarding to solve a problem but I just can’t numb myself to the shit thrown at me everyday. It’s depressing to sludge through this 5 days a week to afford to live.