I'm graduating with an Engineering degree in 3 weeks.
I've been working at a general contractor for 8 months as an intern. I like my job; my coworkers are cool, the atmosphere was relaxed, and it was a cushy office job. I think after about 3 months, my boss started to forget about me. I didn't have someone watching over me or assigning me work. I spent a lot of time doing nothing or basic office tasks. I started asking my coworkers if they needed help with anything (all of my coworkers are super busy) and a bunch of people would let me work with them sometimes.
I know on this sub, a lot of people like the idea of getting paid to do nothing. But honestly, coming into work everyday with nothing to do and no one wanting my help made me feel so worthless. Some days I would wonder what the point of coming into work was if no one cared that I was here. It admittedly took a toll on my mental health.
The entire time I've been working here, my bosses and coworkers have been telling me or joking with me that I would be offered a full time position after I graduate. Occasionally I had “check in” meetings with boss where she'd ask me how things were going. Every time, I would ask why they wanted and intern or what the purpose of this internship was and she would say that they want to help grow a promising student's career and she tell me about the past interns and what their role was within the company now. I told her during these meetings that I wanted to spend my internship training for a future role in the company. She would always tell me that I was doing a great job and never really criticized me. A lot of times during other work meetings she would say stuff to me like “oh, well when you're a (full time position) here” or “we want you here for a long time and not just as an intern” and “our interns don't stay interns”. Looking back, I never got a real promise that they'd offer me a position, but I still feel so led on.
Yesterday, my bosses sat me down and told me they won't be hiring me on after I graduate. Why? Our company has been expanding a lot in the past 6 months and they've been hiring a ton of people. They told me that they didn't have the capacity to train/work with an intern or someone fresh out of school. They said they didn't want to treat this like a breakup and that this has nothing to do with my job performance. They offered to help me with a reference letter or anything else I'd need from them to get a new job.
But if that were true then why were they going to my university's career fair and why was our HR lady talking about going through 150 applications for interns or recent graduates? Why do some of their new hires have little experience or no degrees at all? I just feel like I was forgotten again like I have been for the past 6 months. I just feel like they think I'm incapable of doing an entry level job here that I've been training for for 8 months.
They told me I could continue “working” until I graduate, but I honestly just don't want to go back on Monday. What am I supposed to tell my coworkers that keep asking me if I've been offered a job? I think a lot of people assumed I'd be promoted, but looking back there were definitely a handful of people who knew this was happening before I did. A couple of coworkers have been super awkward and weird the last 2 weeks. I feel like this puts me in such an uncomfortable position. I also have bills to pay and I don't think I could afford to not work right now. I don't know what to do.