I’m a caretaker for a teenager with Down syndrome and level 3 non verbal autism. He pretty much cannot do anything independently. I am responsible for him from the moment he is dropped off from the bus to the moment he goes to bed. I prepare his food, feed him, bathe him, change his diapers, wipe his ass, take him on walks and car rides, oversee speech therapy, give him medication, and much more.
When he’s in a good mood, it’s a rewarding job. I feel like I’m making a difference in his life and his smile warms my heart.
When he’s in a bad mood, he is combative and the job is beyond stressful. He screams in my face for hours on end, slaps me, urinates on me, shits in the shower to make me clean it, kicks me, and throws objects at my head. My job requires an extraordinary amount of patience and communication skills and is very prone to burnout.
Minimum wage in my state is $11/hr. I’m making $11.80/hr after working this job for 2 and a half years. My roommate is a cashier at a beer store and makes more than me. If I wasn’t so attached to him and felt responsible for the lack of support I know the family would have if I left, I would’ve found a new job a long time ago. The family does not determine my pay rate, they are on Medicaid and use an insurance approved company that gets reimbursed. The faceless company I work for sets my pay rate, making profit while giving caretakers an unlivable wage. They prey on this exact dynamic; they want you to feel personally responsible for people’s wellbeing and take advantage of employees with empathy. Sometimes I just feel so defeated.