So I work at a station in a establishment where I get a lot of the same customers. I work in a customer facing role, but I am aware that I have rbf. Since I’m aware of this, I offput this with my tone. I Make sure I sound warm, I raise it a little along with my pitch, but for some reason this is not enough to convince people that I don’t have an issue… when I get these regular customers they will initiate conversations of course. I happily converse back and we get into tons of different subjects. So where I work, there’s more than one station. Across from me is another one. One day someone from that station came to me, and loudly said in front of my customers “YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR MAD”. I felt extremely embarrassed, and told him I’m not mad, I’m in fact having a good day. From this point on it’s been pure hell. Fast forwarding to now, my coworkers are basically telling people I’m mad at work, I come to work having a bad day based on my face. Apparently my customers are talking as well, and some of them when they come up stare at me making me very uncomfortable, I’ve caught them taking pictures of me, and they are just so rude towards me. Come to find out, another one of my coworkers are telling people, I’m going through something and have mental issues. My manager one day told me to stop being sensitive. I don’t recall doing nothing out of the ordinary. Now everyone literally avoids me, or comes up to me and ask me “are you having a good day?” Which is annoying. And honestly all this ruins my day. I try to listen to music and podcasts while working. What really is sending me over the edge is when a customer I used to talk to all the time, came up to me and to basically sum up the conversation said that I’m masking and I may be a psycho/sociopath just pretending to be happy at work. He also kept reiterating that he’s done his research and it’s very common in women, and they secretly mask while also be on the urge of killing. He I’m assuming formulated this story of him having a girlfriend once who he said masked for 5 years, but turned out to be awful. When he said this, it really ruined my day. I told him I know who I am outside of work and don’t need his assumptions and critiques. I told him I’m nothing of the sort and he replied back that’s what you tell yourself. I went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out. After pulling myself back together i went back. Just before my shift ended, I heard a customer talking saying “I don’t think I can ever get to point of killing people” and looked directly at me.
I’m 5’4, 120 lb female. Anyone who knows me knows I’m quiet, a lot of people call me sweet , and I’m sensitive. I will NEVER think to put anybody in harm. I can’t just quit like I want , but this is really taking a toll onme. I’ve been thinking about it ever since it happened and I’m starting to make my self ill physically. I scheduled me a doctor appointment, and got some meds for depression and anxiety. But, never at any of my past jobs have I ever dealt with this or had anyone make these accusations about me. It hurts so bad, why they would make a nasty assumption about me. I truly can’t help my face. I try to be positive and upbeat but apparently it’s not Enough for them.
When I first started this job I once had a coworker conversation with me about how our establishment had a lot of mean and cruel people. I remember telling him that’s everywhere and didn’t think nothing of it. But now I see exactly what he’s talking about. Anyone who knows me Will say that I wouldn’t even touch a fly. Yes I do deal with anxiety, but I will never ever associate myself with being a Socio or psychopath. I’m honestly to the point where I can care less about my bills, I can’t deal with that environment anymore. I feel like no matter what I do or say from this point on it will be twisted. I’ve never had anyone make this assumption of me before nowhere close. I’m starting to document my interactions, I talk to my manager previously and he said he would talk to those that work my shift. these people don’t engage with me like they used to, but I strongly feel that they are still making nasty rumors about me. I think these people see that these rumors are starting to get to me and how affected I am by them and is wanting to turn it into a game and poke at me. I’m very embarrassed to express myself about this concern to other people that I’m close with because I fear judgment because I’ve never heard of a situation like this before. I’m in therapy and I’m scared to tell my therapist of what happened because I don’t know what she might think of me.