So long story short I was convinced by everyone around me that I needed to stop wasting my criminal justice degree and do what's right. My degree specializes in reducing recidivism.
So a few months ago I interview for a workhouse job, give my whole spiel on my training, a week later I'm hired.
It seemed ok at first till I started Doing what I told them I'm trained to do, in my interview.
Providing resources, mental health support, guidance and well empathy.
Well twice this past week there's been a female at our facility. When her intake was first done she was positive for so, so many drugs they sent her to the jail to detox.
Our facility nurse asked me to come to her office where she proceeded to tell me the lady was almost my age and pregnant approximately 5 months along.
The both of us had a real good cry and hug, sent up some universe thoughts and said phew hope she doesn't come back.
Well they let her back, I had to give her ua and she was still getting high, in jail.
I had to take a break and cry and it just ruined my whole shift and demeanor.
Well around 10pm some ass hat, inside the male locker room, kept hitting the buzzer like I had to jump. Like no that's not how this works. However because of having to take that lady's UA and because I was so upset she's killing a kid who isn't even choosing to be here rn, I skipped the locker room on my safety round.
I immediately told my supervisor on shift that he needed to or someone else needed to check the locker room but I could not as I knew I could not be professional towards sir buzzer pusher.
This man says, “I don't know what your problem is but go smoke a cigarette and come back to my office.”
So I do. I explained to him that I felt I could set that boundary, first because if I know I cannot be professional, why should I engage? 2nd, another staff and he were just standing around anyway so why couldn't they walk the 200 feet?
He told me in no uncertain terms am I allowed to not check an area of the facility unless I don't feel safe doing so. He said I could be fired.
At that time I said ya know, all I'm going to say is I'll call HR and have them document that is appropriate and we'll go from there.
He asked why I was crying on my smoke break.
I said I couldn't understand why a woman whose 5 months pregnant gets to choose to kill a kid and nothing can be done about it and I have to sit and watch it happen.
He said I don't get to have the right to have any feelings towards that, its not my baby so what's the big deal.
At the very end of the conversation he advised me that setting boundaries cannot be done in corrections and if I was in xyz county working or xyz county working and I did that, I'd never get to work in corrections ever again.
I said well now I see why in my whopping 2 months of employment 6 people have quit, took pay cuts for those jobs and every last one of them worked for you for no longer than 4.5 months.
He told me literally I have zero right to say anything about the way they do things, I haven't been there long enough for my opinion to matter.
I got up quietly and said “how do massive companies learn how to do better? They hire outside consultants for a different view point.”
By then my shift was 10 minutes till it was over.
I did a head count and left.
Now I wonder do I even freaking bother. I did call HR and of course leave a message for the person they said I needed to talk to and left a message for my director that I was contacting HR to get documentation created about being allowed to set boundaries when you're unable to be professional. No one called me back and I called around 10am.
So my last day off is tomorrow. Do I even go back? Do I keep trying to fight these damn battles none of us can win?