Sorry for the length of if this doesn’t fit in this sub. Maybe I’m just whining for no reason and actually have it pretty cush where I work but I have no damn clue. Gotta vent so I’m venting here.
I am an office worker and scheduler at my local community hospital. I hate it. I hate the stress. I hate dealing with entitled rude people constantly, I hate not fitting in, I hate the mediocre pay and lack of appreciation for all I do. It’s not my field. I wanted to go into the graphic design field but nobody wants to hire someone with an Associate’s degree and no experience at an agency (even though I am definitely qualified for many jobs.)
In the US, when you turn 26, you get kicked off your parents’ health insurance. I have health issues including mental illnesses, so I needed to be able to see doctors and my therapist. I needed health insurance. Do to my mental health challenges, I could only do part time work aside from freelancing. I found a job right before my 26th birthday last year at the hospital office for part time closing shift. The hospital offered health insurance for a minimum of 22.5 hours a week, 45 hours per pay period. That’s what I work and I have health insurance.
Unfortunately what the hospital failed to tell me was that their health insurance sucks ass. It is the worst. Outrageous deductibles in different tiers. I will never reach the insane deductible for my therapist I was already established with. They punish me for seeing any doctor or getting bloodwork outside their damn hospital and network and sometimes it’s impossible to fully avoid it. The only thing it ever helped me with was when I went to the ER a couple times this year but still not cheap bills. And now my deductible resets in the new year so everything is pointless.
But that’s not even all. The way their time off is organized just screws us all over. I was given an up front bank of 15 hours last year and used it all up due to illness. This fiscal year (starting in October) I was given a bank of 30 hours but yet again, illness and emergency situations happened and I used it all. That was my bank for THE ENTIRE YEAR. I don’t get another til October 2023. The only other bank I have is my “Earnt” PTO bank which accumulates 2 hours every pay period ever other week. It seems like I barely just get 4 or 5 hours in my bank before I have a friggin migraine for three days and have to stay home ONE DAY when I can’t take the pain anymore. And then POOF, all my time off is gone again. There was a time when I was out of work for four days and I was terrified my health insurance would be taken away. Apparently it was ok because I was sick and the hospital accounts for sick time and I just simply didn’t get paid.
However I asked what I might need to do if I wanted to take a couple days off work for my birthday all the way in April and basically I’m screwed. If I request time off, it will get taken out of my bank when it’s available. But if I get sick before then my request will be canceled and I will need to use it for that instead. So I effectively wouldn’t be “allowed” to take a day off for no reason and I would lose my health insurance if I did. So basically I can’t do anything! I can’t plan for anything. I can’t take a vacation. I can’t go to my friends’ wedding. I have absolutely nothing in my life to look forward to. If something isn’t nearby and on the weekend (when our department is closed) then I can’t plan on anything. I don’t have a crystal ball where I can see I won’t get a migraine for three months (I absolutely will.) I can’t apply for FMLA yet either because I haven’t worked there a year.
To add insult to injury, my state had a snowstorm a couple weeks ago and I was forced to leave early. The hospital doesn’t cover snow storms so if I hadn’t made up an extra hour, I would’ve had to have taken time out of my bank as punishment for there being a snowstorm. My bosses didn’t even think to tell me to come earlier and leave earlier that day because, and I quote: “We kind of forget you exist.” (Yeah they forget about me until I’m out and they have to close up without me and the whole ship sinks.)
Also I am forced to take time out of my bank if there’s a holiday and we are closed. Thank god Christmas was on a Sunday because I literally wouldn’t have afforded it.
The entire time I’ve worked there I took ONE personal day. One. Black Friday because I was in another state visiting family. That was it. Every other time was sickness or family emergency.
Maybe I’m crazy in thinking this is ridiculous but is ANY of this normal?! I don’t get it. I am so unbelievably stuck and fed up with life in general.
-I have a degree I can’t even use to get a job in my field
-I can’t move out of my parents home because rent is outrageous
-I have terrible insurance and can’t get government insurance because it’s considered “decent insurance” by the government. If I quit my job I won’t qualify for anything but Medicaid that’s a whole other can of worms.
-I can’t ever take a day or two off or take a vacation ever.
-I need consistent mental health help but can only afford to do once a month telehealth appointments at $130 an appointment. I feel I’m teetering on the edge of a mental crisis but I can’t afford to have a mental health crisis. I can’t afford one mental health day.
-I don’t know what I’m supposed to do except keep job hunting but I have transportation issues so commuting outside this small town would be hard. Work from home jobs get snatched up quick by people more “qualified” than me
-And going back to school for my Bachelor’s is something I can’t afford.
I am beyond discouraged. I don’t see any future. Is it all just going to be like this for the rest of my life? I feel so stuck and lost. Can anybody relate? Adult life already sucks balls. I hate everything.